I am in the middle of my life and still trying to figure things out. Life is forever changing which is very hard at time. But mostly it can be a beautiful experience. I just haven't found that kind of beauty, YET. I just need to get thoughts out of my head. I am using this journal as more so letters to myself. Mostly questions that I can't seem to get out of my thoughts.

Latest Entry

Need to get busy living.

December 21, 2021
I found myself this weekend not wanting to get out of bed.  I wasn't tired or sick.  Just wanted to stay under the covers until the day passed me by.  My mind tells me I have no reason to be depressed.  I just got back from a trip of a lifetime with my mother for…
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Recent Entries

  • It is getting to me
    November 26, 2021
    I feel like today I might have a breaking point.  It almost feels like I am going to have a breakdown of some sort.  It feels like everything is caving in on me.  I am at a crossroad and I don't know what aspect is at the fork.  Maybe a few parts of my life…
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  • Mirrors this Morning
    November 11, 2021
    As I sit here this morning looking in the mirror I see the girl I use to be reflecting back at me. She is looking at me trying to remind me of what I wanted to be. Staring back at her I see who I did become and miss who I use to be.  …
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  • I am an 70’s baby
    November 9, 2021
    I was in the early 70s, grew up in the 80's and started being an adult in the 90's.  I look back at the 80's and feel that was the best decade ever.  At work or in the car I listen to music that I grew up with and think "God those were the best…
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  • Don’t believe what you see in pictures
    November 8, 2021
    I keep a picture in my office of the two of us when we were younger.  Most people  look at it and comment how we have look so young.  You we must have always been on the go.   When I look at this picture it is not what I see.  I keep it to remind…
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  • Johnny Walker -No one should die alone
    November 7, 2021
    I know we didn’t get a long when I was younger.  I had so much resentment for so many reasons.  You never really knew how to be a partent let a long a step father.  There was a lot of mean hateful things that was said to me that I have carried my whole life.…
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  • I am actually doing it
    November 6, 2021
    That is right.  After months of not doing anything but chilly and binge watching tv on the weekends I finally started my clean up and reorganization.  Hopefully I can keep it going tomorrow.  I have only have 1/2 my room and the office done.  Next Make up and closets.  I still have not work to&he...
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  • Do Better
    November 5, 2021
    It's FRIDAY!!!!  This weekend I have to push myself to do better.  Not binge watch series or nap.  I need to rework my office and room to get organized.  That will help with my pile of odd objects building in the living room.  Not to mention I need to mop the entire house.   I am…
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  • Night Out with Friends
    November 4, 2021
    I am going out tonight with one of my dear friends tonight.  Annually we go to the Taste of the Town and have a really good time.  It will be nice to get out of the house and into the public again.  One thing I didn't consider working from home is that it is just…
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  • Feeling better about ME
    November 3, 2021
    In less that 3 weeks I am going on a Rhine River Cruise starting in Amsterdam and ending in Switzerland.  Of coarse it is for work so my mother will be with me and I will enjoy the time I get to spend with her alone.  It is important for me to make memories with…
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