1001 Days – The List
September 28, 2010
55 Not yet started 30 In progress 16 Completed 001 Kiss the woman of my ...
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Jaded Wren
@jadedwren
If you want to know something, feel free to ask. Personalities can't be summed up in a text box the size of a video cassette--at least, I hope they can't. My diary's open to the public. If I was interested in keeping secrets, I wouldn't be a writer.
Often, people describe their interests, or list flattering aspects of their personality. One of my quirks is that I'm just as aware of my flaws as my virtues, which makes for very long descriptions, indeed. I see no need to pretend to be someone I'm not. Likewise, I have no particular need to promote myself. Whatever you glean from my ramblings is more important than what I say here. Still, it's hard to resist a blank canvas. Ergo, without further ado: The Work in Progress.
Yes, that refers to both myself and the page. I enjoy the duality of my personality; I'm either extremely balanced, or very contradictory. I'm a private individual, by nature, but don't mind sharing the majority of my life experience when prompted. I'm reclusive, yet enjoy being around people. I'm shy, yet have a lively social life. I'm reserved, but gregarious when in familiar company. I'm both serious and flippant, sarcastic yet respectful, ironic yet frank. I have a healthy ego, yet I poke as much fun at myself as anyone. I hate people, I love people; I don't care about people, I care about everybody; I cherish individual rights over the group, yet I superordinate the group over the individual. I hope for the best, and expect the worst.
The list goes on. One might receive the impression that I'm a collection of fickle, directionless whimsy--yet all those who know me can attest that certainly isn't the case, and that I am a bedrock of consistency in my beliefs and expressions.
Go figure.
I'm 35 years old. Gone are the days of vacillating about what I wanted to be; about WHO I wanted to be. I don't have to shake the magic 8-ball. I've made a lot of mistakes; I've hurt not only myself, but a lot of people as well. In my late 20's, I realized who I wanted to be, and took the steps to make that happen.
Much of what I write here is about that process.
"Treat others how you want to be treated." I don't pretend to have made that up. In fact, I'm amazed that everyone doesn't figure it out sometime in their mid-20's, after the selfishness and struggles of adolescence evaporates. Want to be respected? Treat people with respect. I don't play pranks, I don't maliciously lie to people or about people. I give them the benefit of the doubt when facts aren't known, I resist urges towards presumption and self-deception, and I don't waste their time with nonsense. If I impose on you, it's for a good reason, not because I'm lazy, stupid, or willfully ignorant. If I have a curse, it's being likeable.
And despite that, I am often contemptuous of those who *are* lazy, stupid, or willfully ignorant, even as I cheerily defend their right to be so. Everything scales. A good analogy is driving: presume that roughly half of the drivers you meet on the road are going to be below average. Now, apply that to life. There you go.
It's not cynicism, per se. It's recognition of the human condition.
I work my hardest to be above average.
I think I succeed. Your opinion may differ. Perhaps your sense of humor is different than mine; perhaps you're one of the individuals of dubious ethics and morality that I naturally conflict with. Perhaps you lie, rationalize, cheat, steal, whine, betray, deceive, or expect everyone else to live your life for you. Regardless, at the end of the day, if people ask themselves, "How does he treat me?" I'm pretty sure there will be more positives than negatives, regardless of any personal disagreement.
Treat people right. Anything else is a waste of our too short time.
Latest Entry
Recent Entries
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[two poems]
January 30, 2008
In the past, I've shared some poems that I enjoyed, ones that particularly resonated with me. I'm going to post two tonight, but wanted to clarify that they don't necessarily refer to any certain situations in my life. I just like them. Enjoy. =) [eight ball]It was fifty cents a game &...Continue Reading... -
No Words Necessary (ii)
January 29, 2008
Usually, when I write about a person, they're not actively reading it. This is the first time in my life that the person has actually been a witness to my thought process. It was a pretty major step for me, to open myself in this way to a person--it's a sign of my trust and…Continue Reading... -
No Words Necessary (i)
January 29, 2008
Finally. It's been a good day. This is where I wanted to be. The best, healthiest place for not only me, but for Us. I hope you're happy to hear that, so hold it close for awhile, because this is going to be the last novella about Susan for a very long time. I've remarked…Continue Reading... -
Stolen
January 27, 2008
A friend of mine on Livejournal occasionally posts things I want to steal. Two of them that I wanted to preserve and share are below. Thanks, Bee. =)One:when you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults. you don't look for answers. you don't look for mistakes. instead, you fight the mist...Continue Reading... -
[quote]
January 19, 2008
"Now, you listen to me. I’ve been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine- done things I’d prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood. Which doesn&...Continue Reading... -
Learning | Experience (#8–Revelation)
January 13, 2008
I woke up this morning to a curious sensation: I was out of words. Strange, that.You get used to things bouncing around your head that you can't get rid of. I usually have a few things that I cycle through, but there's been one situation in particular that's been fermenting for a month. Things I&...Continue Reading... -
Learning | Experience (#8–Revelation ii)
January 13, 2008
I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. We had an enjoyable dinner at some restaurant with meals we couldn't pronounce and a waiter that probably got tired of us quizzing him. It was remarkably fun, and because I'm fairly open about some of the more horrible things in my life, I reg...Continue Reading... -
Learning | Experience (#8–Revelation iii)
January 13, 2008
From Email #1: ... I know that pursuing Susan is pretty fruitless. I was pretty much responsible for getting the friendship off the ground (outside of work, that is), but you know, man, I'm so good. I don't chase; It's not like I'm sending her 100 emails a day or saying "hey, let's get toget...Continue Reading... -
Learning | Experience (#8–Revelation iv)
January 13, 2008
Over the past three weeks, I've been in a shroud of Michaelandsusan. And every day I think we won't see each other, we do. And I fuckin love it. Hell, so does she. We're not doing anything we don't want. We're simply being incredibly indulgent of our fascination. We almost had The Talk at one&hel...Continue Reading...
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