Recent Entries

• scared

  May 6, 2001

  I'm scared of many things, not stuff like spiders or heights though, more like myself and my friends. I know it's accquried to b scared of them, since ur suppose to trust them and all, but I'm scared to b too close, cause once they leave it's all over. everything. Like they stranded me out…

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• Suicide dreams

  May 3, 2001

  I look in the mirror and see a fucked up kid, a guy who is about to lost everything after wanting everything. A guy who sees the world as nothing but a hell. Friends of mine say that suicide is the easy way out of things but I don't see it that way, I see…

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• Deathtone

  May 1, 2001

  The tone of death in my ears, better then the sound of life, something that I will always fear. I see hell as heaven at times, where u can be all bad and not get in trobule in anyway. Though I don't always see stuff this way, there's times in my life that I actually…

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• All alone

  April 29, 2001

  I feel alone right now, alone in the world, not just my house. It feels like I have lost all my closest friends in a gamble to make new ones. I can't stand it, it seems like noone is hearing me, I'm in their face yelling at the top of my lungs and there simpily…

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• Bored

  April 26, 2001

  I'm bored and techinally home alone. My dad is asleep again like he always is and none of my friends are home. I can't think of what to do, this school year is coming to an end and soon I have to say "bye" to a lot of them without ever getting to say "hi"…

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• Heart Throbber

  April 25, 2001

  This title doesn't really make sense because it seems like I have no heart, that emotions don't come to me anymore and that nothing I see ever really sadens me. Like I'm the same fucking way all the time, no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me I walk around like it's…

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• Trusting no1

  April 24, 2001

  I feel that as of late I can trust no1, like every1 is against me. Even my closest friends have gone to turning into rivals. Like the world met together 1 day and all decided to go against me. Now it feels like I have nothing left to but to sit in a dark room…

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• Thoughts of mine

  April 23, 2001

  This entry really has no meaning or singulair point, it's just several thoughts of mine that I wanted to get down. Over the last couple of days I thought that the girl of my dreams had been mad at me for some reason, I think it was because she wasn't talking to me online(now I…

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• Lonely

  April 20, 2001

  This life of mine that I am suppose to live is fucked up. I've tried to end it before but failed, and now I have made a promise to someone that I wouldn't try it again, don't know why I made that promise it's just tortureing myself. I feel that I'm living alone, or at…

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