Recent Entries

• I remember why

  February 19, 2021

  I remember why I loved writing here. 100 years later. I could scream and someone would listen. I could grieve and someone would know. Have known, have experienced. Or would care. To Cat. To Alistair. To Random Impersonator. 100 years later you are still my essence. “There are all kinds of addicts...

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• Blue of noon

  December 30, 2017

  I started my first diary, Blue of Noon on Open Diary in 2001. I stumbled upon Open Diary whilst researching social phobia online. I discovered someone's online diary detailing their struggles with anxiety and social phobia and thought, I could do better than that! I started to write, thinking tha...

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• My second child

  June 22, 2009

  A quick note to announce the birth of my second daughter, who came rather unexpectedly on the 7th of June. Saskia was a month premature, unlike her sister Alexa who was almost a month overdue. My water broke at about 4am in the morning and I raced off to hospital to have another em...

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• My second child

  June 22, 2009

  A quick note to announce the birth of my second daughter, who came rather unexpectedly on the 7th of June. Saskia was a month premature, unlike her sister Alexa who was almost a month overdue. My water broke at about 4am in the morning and I raced off to hospital to have another em...

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• Self-deception

  May 1, 2009

  “The ingenuity of self-deception is inexhaustible.” Hannah Moore I haven't had the will to write these past few days but see that it is necessary if I want to face the truth. I discovered that my partner B has been using again. Even after I bought him expensive text books and a b...

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• The only certainty is uncertainty

  April 14, 2009

  “I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for the truth; and truth rewarded me”.   Simone de Beauvoir Our government recently paid its people close to a $1000 as part of its economic stimulus package. I used mine to pay two weeks rent. It now a...

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• Safe comfort of certainties

  April 9, 2009

  At the beginning of my relationship with B, I was incredibly idealistic, hopeful, and naively believed that love would conquer all. The first three months we spent together were the most intensely joyful I have spent with another person. I have never felt so much love, understanding, meaning and ...

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• Late beginnings

  March 22, 2009

  It was almost a year to the day that I said I would start writing again when I felt better. I had just had my first baby girl. A year later, I am finally feeling a little better and think I am ready to commit to 'write life' and 'read life' again. I don't think…

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• New beginnings

  March 11, 2008

  I have been to hell and back in the past year. I can say that without exagerating. One good thing has come of it. I had a baby girl on 20 January 2008. Her name is Alexa Hannah. I'm sorry I haven't written, it has been too painful but I am going back on my medication…

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