Recent Entries

• Passed

  August 24, 2018

  Twelve years... Twelve, long years. I'd like to tell you I'm different now, that I've found everything I longed for. I'd like to tell you I am saved - warm, loved, and taken care of. I'd like to tell you I'm free of need; I no longer want. I'd like to tell you... ... but…

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• Untitled Thoughts

  November 2, 2006

  Do I want to be saved? I seem content to continuously screw myself over in the areas of life that really matter. Someone to save me from myself? Sounds like a bad line from a country song. And I'm a broken record then for crying wolf when I was happy to kill the sheep myself. Once…

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• Hurt.

  March 28, 2006

  I should have known... No wait, I did know, right when he knocked down my door, right as I peered through the hole which separated us. I knew it was him... Coming back to invade my solitude, coming back to destroy my world all over again. Maybe Steven's right... Maybe there's just something about...

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• No Title.

  March 26, 2006

  I hate when I bare myself to the back of your hand...I feel like I give, but reception never seems enough.I don't know if that's my fault, or yours.Maybe you think I have expectations,if so, they're created by a past of sordid details.You told me not to alter my thoughts;is this what you wanted?I...

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• Regrets.

  March 24, 2006

  I feel tongue-tied of all the words rattling through my brain...When I get this way, I have a tendency to hide,from you, from everyone.From life in general...I keep thinking there will be a horizon,that I'll get my head above water and be able to breathe.Yet I always feel like I'm still flounderi...

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• Bad Day.

  March 19, 2006

  I lie to myself until it reaches this point, when I'm curled up under a blanket wishing the world would go away. Don't be upset with me, sometimes I really think I'm okay, but I never really am, am I? So many things revolve around me standing up, so many "what ifs" rest around me…

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• Niche.

  March 17, 2006

  We are spiraling. We are far away from the originality of what we once were. Are we scared of the beauty of silence, because that presence is just too much? Are we hiding from these dreams, and running from reality? It's been so long since you've held me, in that nonsensical way only you cou...

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• Wannabe.

  March 14, 2006

  The words are sticky today, Probably moist from my foul regurgitation of self-righteousness. I hate it when I'm right. Why do I do this over and over again . . . I don't need God to judge me, I can create Hell all by myself. "I don't know what I did, please call me back.…

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• Coldened.

  March 14, 2006

  I'm one of his let-downs, I'm the rock that never got better. I'm a lump in his throat, . . . always had a problem swallowing my own shit. We speak so liberally, it's almost like we're friends. Almost . . . That word R*E*S*T*R*I*C*T*I*O*N Don't go past that point where it might just break…

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