Recent Entries

• You

  January 14, 2014

  All I ever think about is you. I can't really tell if that's the right way to be but it never feels wrong and I never want it to go away. As shocked as I am to even be in this situation, I guess I was most worried about losing control of everything. That's still…

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• today

  December 21, 2013

  Today is my dad's birthday. Today hasn't been going that great. I hate emotions and the loss of control they bring. It's so much easier for me to keep everything bottled up inside and hate that. Unemotional hate is so much easier to deal with. It's when I hate myself and I can actually feel…

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• in between

  December 10, 2013

  I've felt since my last manic episode, about this time last year, that if I'm ever manic again my heart will give out and I'll die. Last time was bad...really bad. It started innocently enough, I was actually aware that I was manic and that something was wrong. I was hearing voices. By that, I&he...

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• and again

  December 9, 2013

  I've written a lot of manic poetry in this diary. I really discourage anyone reading this from reading it because looking back on it I think it's all pretty terrible but it's there (you can find it pretty easily, it's any entry ending with a "."), a snapshot of my life and my mind as…

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• whoa

  December 8, 2013

  It's been a couple days since I wrote my last entry and I figured since I was thinking about it I may as well try and get some momentum going and write another one. I really didn't know what to expect when I came over here and wrote the last one. I really just sat…

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• something, something, great

  December 6, 2013

  Wow, it's weird seeing a 32 next to my age. It's been a long time since I made any kind of post here. Maybe longer than it should be. I'm still here, still living. But I hate my life. I hate myself. This is not what I had in mind coming out of high school…

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• Dear diary,

  April 22, 2012

  There's some things I need to discuss with you. Unfortunately, you've been left out of the loop. This is not your fault, diary. Also, I changed your colors and deleted your front page. I hope this is acceptable for you. If you desire a different color scheme please leave a note at the bottom of&h...

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• 2000 miles.

  December 9, 2011

  i see the world in symbols hear me loud, hear me proud like the waterfall running down your back it cools you like a river flowing to the ocean the salt lies in between the molecules they don't quench like i do your thirst is endless and i'll suck dry freshwater reserves and spit it…

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• times they are a changing

  March 2, 2010

  i don't want to tell a story here i just want my thoughts to be words because my thoughts are more than i can handle but the words almost seem worse, like they've been brought to life they're scary words, at least to me, when they line up in just the right way the same…

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