Recent Entries

• Sunday entry

  January 28, 2018

  Just a quick entry to say to all of my long lost OD'ers. I have missed this so much. My hubby died in 2010 and there are so many memories that I have journaled on here that are bittersweet to read. Mostly, the times when we were bickering over stupid stuff. I read about the…

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• sorting it all out

  March 16, 2013

  Lastnight Tara had a bad dream. This morning she told me about it. I have had the same exact dream. John was still alive and he was just avoiding us all this time. Tara was 12 almost 13 when he died. Now she is 15 going on 16. Her recollections and memories are sometimes incorrect…

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• I am so glad this is still here

  March 14, 2013

  I have been thinking a lot about writing a book about my cancer survival story and losing my husband. I have learned so much about the grieving process. I am glad that I found this diary with all the pictures and memories. Now I am going to go back and read. hello to you all.…

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• today I am mad at my husband

  October 24, 2011

  Today I got really angry at John. We had yet another flood in the basement and he isn't here to help me. The plumbing from the downstairs basement pipe broke (a bracket broke) and sprayed water all over when Dale was taking a shower. I get mad at him because I had to move and…

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• I am back!!

  August 18, 2011

  I have had a really rough couple of years. Now it is time to start journalling all that I have been through. I can definitely see where my cancer journey has prepared me to be a widow. I became stronger, more assertive and more independent. I am doing things that I didn't know that I…

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• I am a 42 yr old widow

  June 14, 2010

  On May 30, 2010 my life as I knew it ended forever. Our beautiful family is forever changed. Hurting, scarred and in pain. My husband John committed suicide. I still can't even believe he did it. He was so stressed about being business partners. We were fighting. He moved the camper to the f...

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• where do I begin

  April 12, 2010

  I have been in some sort of a mental funk lately. Part of it is that I am starting to hate my job. I have a meeting today with a supervisor and boss and I'm so worried that they are going to "counsel" me because of my stupid co worker. All she does is complain…

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• where should I start??

  March 31, 2010

  I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll just start with what's going on in my life. The cancer is gone!! I have had a clean mammogram in December. In March I had surgery to remove my "spare parts that I'm no longer using" It was laproscopic and the recovery was quick. I was&...

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• can you see me from the inside?

  July 18, 2009

  On the outside my hair is gone and my head is bald on the inside I have the memories of sitting in the chair watching the IV drip On the outside my breasts are scarred and the wounds are fresh on the inside my cancer has been removed by the surgeon's delicate hands On the…

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