Recent Entries

• 05/01/2022

  January 5, 2022

  He gives me a tragic focus- a face to see instead of my own in the mirror. When all the black crowds in, and the echoes sound like screams, again- his tone and resonance comes to my rescue, killing with kindness, again and again. He is like the girl I was, years and years ago…

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• 22/11/2021

  November 22, 2021

  I just saw the start of someone else's diary on here as I was signing in, and it started, something along the lines of "I'm blessed- I give thanks for my blessedness, and etc etc." It made me think. My friend N says that as she lies down to sleep every night she gives thanks…

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• 26/10/2021

  October 26, 2021

  Having a bit of a crappy morning. I've woken up feeling off, although no more off than I have felt for the last little while tbh. My mind is spinnning out about things which are crazy though, things which I know aren't things I want or truly need to be freaking out about. For example,…

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• 08/10/2012

  October 8, 2021

  So I've had a bit of a weird day. I used to get symptoms brought on by my mum- not just her, but it used to be her, my ex, bizarrely this one guy at work, and then with other people and places completely randomly. So it wasn't just with her, but it used to…

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• 30/06/2021

  September 30, 2021

  So this just happened, just as I published the last post. I've been sitting here feeling very lost, very thin and low today. I was just talking with my friend Nina and saying I'm looking for things to do at the moment, I need to find ways to meet some new people and expand my…

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• 30/09/2021

  September 30, 2021

  So I'm in Costa. It took quite a lot for me to leave the flat today, but by the time I got out I was feeling better. I've told G that I no longer wish to keep corrosponding. She's not good for my mental health, and she's massively manipulative. I've been letting my sense that…

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• 25/09/2021

  September 25, 2021

  Saturday morning. Or, well it's just turned to the afternoon now but I woke up quite early. I had a lowering yesterday and so drank wine. but I feel quite good about it now. I'm not going to dwell but in other positives I've eaten a lot this week and put on no weight- I…

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• 14/09/2021

  September 14, 2021

  It's been raining here since I woke up, at just before 7am. I was scheduled to go into my volunteering today, but they cancel it when there's heavy rain and when I woke up this morning I did wonder that they might. I got up regardless though! Which I"m pretty darn pleased with myself over.…

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• 13/09/2021

  September 13, 2021

  So I haven't written for a long time. Issues have changed. I'm currently in a period of transition. I woke up today quite well, in fact a lot better than I have done for a long time. I've said to a couple of people recently, it's like I wake up in the morning but I…

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