I am a wife and a mother. I am a dreamer. I live with BPD every day and this will be a big part of getting things out of my head along with tidbits about my amazing family. I am also a ghostwriter as well as having an office job.
I am so happy to be back here again. Thank you, Diarymaster!!

Latest Entry

Shit is real now

July 6, 2021
And just like that, reality came crashing around me. My mom was doing okay until this weekend, all things considered. She was getting around and going downstairs for meals. She lives in one of those fancy apartment complexes for seniors where everything is provided in the rent. It's been a great ...
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Recent Entries

  • Bittersweet
    July 4, 2021
    Every year on the 3rd of July, I'd get together with my parents and siblings for the last several years. The locations changed a bit, but we'd at least see the early fireworks show in their community. It wasn't always fun, particularly when my daughter was just a tot. Now she's a teen with her&he...
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  • So Final
    July 2, 2021
    I found out that my mom is dying about a month ago. She beat lung cancer a couple of years ago and it came back. She chose hospice this time around and I respect that. We haven't ever had a good close relationship. She was pretty awful and often cruel to me when I was…
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  • Time Passes
    July 8, 2018
    I remember being so happy that this site was back up. I was going to come here and log my feelings that I bury deep down and get through my days. I am just so bad at that. Things are collapsing around me. I have been working so hard for the last four or so…
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  • It’s 2018
    February 25, 2018
    It was my niece's third birthday party today. there were a handful of toddlers, older girls that were my daughter's age and family and friends. It was a cute party and it made me think back to K's when she was little. My BIL and SIL are the type to shelter their kids a bit.…
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  • For a night, I was a goddess
    February 24, 2018
    I have tried a lot of traditional therapy. I like group better than individual. I bottle things up and have never been into spilling my guts in the office. When I have, I did get sent to a class or outpatient where I did get deep. I loved it. Since then, I just haven't enjoyed…
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  • For a night, I was a goddess
    February 24, 2018
    I have tried a lot of traditional therapy. I like group better than individual. I bottle things up and have never been into spilling my guts in the office. When I have, I did get sent to a class or outpatient where I did get deep. I loved it. Since then, I just haven't enjoyed…
    Continue Reading...
  • In an Instant
    February 17, 2018
    I was driving home last night from work, planning ahead for the evening. I was going to go and watch my niece play basketball and work. It had been a long week with the allergies that come from this beautiful weather and I needed a little R&R time. I love my drive home. It is…
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  • The World
    February 16, 2018
    I don't know what to say about the shooting in Florida. Part of me wants to keep my daughter in a bubble for the rest of her life but that's impossible. I am not that parent but I also don't have any answers as to how to fix this. I just want it to stop.…
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  • Not Young Any More
    February 14, 2018
    I am a fool. I had an amazing meeting with my client yesterday. I am terrified to write her speech but I respect a person that's been through shit and grown from it. She certainly has. She was incredibly positive and into all that kind of healing I am fascinated with. I think it's funny…
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