Recent Entries

• himself.

  April 25, 2018

  He isn't what we expected. Most parents don't spend every waking hour worrying they are making the right decisions, doing the right things, fighting the right battles. They don't worry about the long term damage of giving in or fighting against or ignoring the situation. They don't worry that the...

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• mulligan.

  April 17, 2018

  I click on old names, old notes but their diaries don't exist anymore. Why do I go back when I know it's going to make me meloncholy, why do I read me from the old me when I know it's just going to hurt the adult me? I feel like I'm grasping at myself, who…

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• still.

  April 15, 2018

  I hate how long it's been, how I haven't needed a place to write because I've had nothing to say. I've come so long and so far, completely different and utterly the same. I'm getting restless and my mind wanders, I hate feeling this way because this is when I make mistakes, this is how…

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• this is the story of my life: Proof of my Failure.

  December 3, 2012

   i guess this year would be something of an anniversary for me, 10 years of this diary. i read back and forward and it's funny cause i still can't remember, but i was there and i felt it and i know it because i wrote it. if there was ever a need for me to…

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• this is the story of my life: Proof of my Failure.

  December 3, 2012

   i guess this year would be something of an anniversary for me, 10 years of this diary. i read back and forward and it's funny cause i still can't remember, but i was there and i felt it and i know it because i wrote it. if there was ever a need for me to…

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• this is the story of my life: Proof of my Failure.

  December 3, 2012

   i guess this year would be something of an anniversary for me, 10 years of this diary. i read back and forward and it's funny cause i still can't remember, but i was there and i felt it and i know it because i wrote it. if there was ever a need for me to…

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• do-over.

  August 27, 2012

   i want to write so badly but i always feel i have nothing to say and no one to listen. my wisest thoughts fall on the head of a child who is all hands and no ears. i wake up too early after running in my sleep, my hands are always numb and i am…

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• human. for me.

  April 6, 2012

   when was it that i became so perfect that i am expected of perfection all of the time from everyone and their favorite thing to say is 'wow, you've really disappointed me today'.  i may try not to let others down but that doesn't mean i want to be put up on a pedastool or…

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• $failure$

  February 15, 2012

   it's official, i'm a failure. i'm sitting there, haggard and despaired, weary and tired and chasing my slightly wet, naked 2 year old around the slightly freezing living room and i just want to burst in to tears. i can't imagine what my thought process was when i thought it would be ok...

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