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01/29/2014

January 28, 2014
it's odd that websites close down. it reminds me of cemeteries that go out of business and it's not long before new buildings are built and whatever was there no longer exists. i wasn't going to write an entry about OD closing, but 754 entries on top of other diaries i started but never wrote&hel...
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Recent Entries

  • 01/19/2014
    January 18, 2014
    if i could replay these last few days over and over in my head i would. i can't believe my feelings. it's so sudden but not sudden at all. we're at the cocktail event and you're eating a pretzel and i can't have any but i'm frustrated when you won't share it with me because…
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  • 01/17/2014
    January 16, 2014
    it's three in the morning and we're awake laughing hysterically at our antics. we joke a little, you curl your body around mine and we're back to sleep for a few hours before you put on your adult face and clothes and go to work. i listen to the way you breathe on the nights…
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  • 01/15/2014
    January 14, 2014
    there's a candle in my apartment that smells like joe. in the second i blow it out before the smoke wafts to my face, i am bombarded with memories of snow, waking up with my face buried in joe's chest, colorado. i can remember all the feelings. i miss the butterflies, i miss the excitement,…
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  • 11/19/2013
    November 18, 2013
    i haven't smoked weed in over a week. i'm 25. i bought a single serving pour over coffee thing. i dropped my classes this semester but i'm registered for next semester. turns out i didn't need anything i was taking this semester, which totally blows my mind considering i spoke to a counselor and ...
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  • 11/11/2013
    November 10, 2013
    at some point, the things that meant everything to you, the things that defined you, change. there are things i thought would never change. there were things that i thought were integral to who i was as a person. my family, my past, my friends, where i grew up, my values. the person i was…
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  • 11/08/2013
    November 7, 2013
    i need to get it together. i need to stop smoking. i need to read more. i need to be smarter. i need to get my ass up and go to my workout camp. i need to go on a run. i need to get it together. be yourself. be yourself. get it together.
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  • 10/18/2013
    October 17, 2013
    i haven't written any crazy mark stories, so here's one from last night. what i didn't mention in the last entry because i was trying to save some face is that mark is basically living with me. it hasn't really bothered me but it's starting to wear. he hasn't offered me any money, he doesn't…
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  • 10/17/2013
    October 16, 2013
    i hope you're in the long run for this. you should read this entry knowing i am back on the pill and i am crazy as fuck. pretty much everything that was remotely stable in my life has been shot down as all these hormones invade my body and make me question my sanity. my…
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  • 10/12/2013
    October 11, 2013
     it's easy to forget the way jealousy sneaks up quickly. The immediate flash of anger, the sinking feeling, the way my mind reels from the prospect of not being wanted. I remember now. Self respect, love, self respect. 
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