. dreamland .

The world that my dreams occupy are often more real to me than waking life.

{Have you guys ever seen that movie, ‘Waking Life’? It’s beautiful and thoughtful, you should see it.}

Anyhow, I was just sitting here, getting ready to go for a walk to the women-only clothing optional spa about 1.5 miles up the hill. I was thinking about the dream I had last night, which had something to do with a couple of clubs, and a band I wanted to see. There was also someone in the dream who I’ve known since elementary school, and is now a doctor somewhere out east. (We don’t really talk.  And I never go to clubs. ) But these clubs had a vibe unlike any club I’ve ever been to. No smell of alcohol, just warm and inviting, with big couches to chill on and candles in chandeliers. You had to wind through narrow shops to get to them, in the back, on a small, busy street. In the dream I was going around trying to find which club My Baby and I had agreed to meet at, and eventually I found him there, dancing to some reggae music.  He is so sexy when he dances. *sigh*

I digress. My dreams are always very vivid. Most of the time, they involve one or more of a few themes. Large buildings with many rooms are one theme. Like hotels, dormitories. Airports are another theme. I’m often trying to get somewhere in a hurry if it involves an airport, and I’m missing something (a passport), or I’m running late to catch the plane. Many times, I catch the plane at the absolute last second after a panicked rush. If the dream involves a hotel or something similar, I’m often running from something or someone, or something eerie is happening in the building, like something supernatural or even murder. I often can’t leave the building for one reason or another, whether the doors are locked and I’m trapped or I can’t get very far, like I have to keep coming back for something or someone. Sometimes, I’m trying to get in the building, running from one faceless person or a group of people. One time it was terrorists.

About 90% of my dreams can be categorized in that paragraph above. 

I’m such a pisces. I live in dreamland much of the time. The real world often seems to incredible to be real. I think I’m pretty grounded, too, though, I work on maintaining that balance through dancing, tai chi, and even my work in the ICU. Nothing can quite put a perspective on your life like watching the events of a sick baby’s life, and their families too as they experience what can many times be a tragedy. That is always very real.

Wow, thinking about my newborn patients really took my mind in a different direction. I started to think about all the babies that I’ve watched die, some very slowly, over a period of months, some much more quickly. I’ve watched their families go through stages of denial and acceptance. I’ve watched these babies teach their families a lesson, in every single circumstance, no matter how long they were there. Sometimes they come and go so quickly that they seem to have been a dream of their parent’s. just there for a blink of an eye, like a flash.

So I guess dreams and babies have similar in a way, that they both represent hopes and fears.

I think about this stuff all the time.  

But now, it’s time for a walk up the hill and a long, naked soak in the hot tub!  And later today, cooking good food, and more Nutcracker prop and costume renovations. It should be a good day, even though it’s dreary and rainy outside. 🙂

~kate