. argh .

 Money. Oh how I hate money. Having to think about it. And budget it? WTF is that?

Most of my life I haven’t had to really budget. The money has always been consistent in coming in, which I am overwhemingly grateful for. And it still is. My job will never go away; barring some tragic accident  that would make me lose my license. But now as the only one bringing money into the house, as my Love is in school full-time, (except this semester during which he is stay at home dad for several reasons), and the one paying the bills, I have to think about it ALL the time!! And I don’t like it! 

The biggest part of this is that we recently moved. Before we were paying less than $200/mo to rent my late mil’s place. But the family sold it, so we had to move, and now we are really paying rent. It’s very reasonable for the neighborhood and amenities, and we are very happy here. But AHHHH money! Not knowing how much utilities were going to be has made it impossible for me to really form my budget yet. And now that the bills are coming in, I am freaking out! I know I can do it, really, I make more than enough. But not having had to have done this before, with a husband in school and our little starshine to support, it’s pretty stressful. Add to that the fact that we moved right before Christmas, AND,earlier in the day we found this place, we purchased a tow-behind travel trailer from a friend. Fortunately we paid cash for that but that didn’t make the holidays any easier! 

My blessing and saving grace is that I can easily get a nice chunk of extra money just working a couple of extra shifts. The 12 hour shifts add up quickly, and if I do a couple of these in overtime, that can be over $1000 extra on my check. We have been consistenly so busy lately that working extra is not a problem.

But then I have more time away from our peanut. More time that I have to sleep because I have to get up at 0530 and work 12 hours, and dammit I need my sleep if I’m going to help keep babies alive the next day at work. 

I just don’t care for the stress. I know the budgeting is necessary. II know it will be tough.  know I can do it. I know we won’t be in this situation forever. I’ll just keep breathing. 

. kate .