LIFE ZAPPERS

It’s always difficult when you’re having a bad day, your girlfriend notices, and then asks you,

"What’s wrong, babe?"

And you have to hold yourself back from shouting,

"YOU! YOU HAVE LITERALLY DRAINED ANY AND ALL WILLPOWER THAT I HAD TO LIVE, YOU VILE DEMON SPAWN!"

And instead you say something like,

"Oh, you know… just tired from work is all."

I guess I really should lighten up on her. I don’t want anyone to think I’m just sitting around on my ass rump all day like "I HATE MY GIRLFRIEND SO MUCH, WHICH IS WHY I’M NOT GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER."

I love her. I really do. It’s just… Gahd dayum, son. Women are practically life zappers. They will find your life, ZAP THE SHIT OUT OF IT, and then leave you a husk of the once proud, independent man that you once were.

Is this what being "domesticated" feels like? ;_;