just part of the 5000 question survey

2901. Do you answer the phone when it rings or do you check to see who is calling first? My phone doesn’t ever ring 😛

 

2902. Bewitched or I Dream of Jeanie? I dream of jeanie-better clothes.

 

2903. When will you be able to just do what you want to? when Im asleep.

 

2904. Make your best cave-person sound: OOOOOOoooooorgh

 

2905. Who tells better gossip, your best friend or your answering machine? best friend.

 

 

2906. Did the death of Anne Nicole Smith have an effect on you? uhhh isnt it Anna?

 

2907. Have you ever fasted? yes.

 

2910. Can you think of anything that has remained unchanged for thousands of years? No.  Duh.

 

2911. Would you rather be a dolphin, a shark, or a sardine? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhark.

 

2912. What is the longest you have ever had the hiccups? I get them really bad.  Probably at least an hour.

 

2913. What is your favorite movie starring Bela Lugosi? I dont know but I know my favourite song starring Bela Lugosi because I just did a burlesque act to it in the summer. 

 

2914. Why are some things so hard to say? Because they cause change.

 

2915. How has one place you’ve traveled to changed your life? Going to Bolivia landed me a lot of jobs because everyone goes "you lived in Bolivia for a summer" and I say yep.  And I just coast on that shit.

 

2916. Does your personality change over time, or will it always stay the same?  It changes.  A lot.  For example I used to think I was very liberal and really morally outraged by human rights abuses.  Last night I saw a Channel 4 doc on human rights abuses in American prisons and I dont know if it was the doc or me but I just thought "I expected worse" For example a man was punched a bunch of times by a single guard because that man hit that guard.  While, professionally the guard should have stopped, in life if you punch a guy that guy and his friends might jump you.  So don’t punch a guy.  It was only one dude against another, no weapons.  The other guy started it so I thought "this is a human rights abuse.  Fuck this." And then I thoguht "maybe Im getting a bit fascisty.

 

 

2917. If you could go back in time and witness any event in history, what would it be? Can I like have control over time so I can watch something that took a long time.  Id like to watch the early stages of evolution on like 30billion times the speed.  Or if I have to watch it in real time Id probably pick something corny like woodstock or Dick Dale’s surf parties.

 

 

 

 

2918. We produce enough food to feed everyone in the world, so why don’t we?  Because if there are no poor people there are no rich people and that wouldnt be fun for the rich people….and they are the ones who have the power.  Im too tired to get in to it.

 

 

 

 

2919. Would you ever take an online class? I have almost graduated my Online Library Tech Program.  Its based out of a real physical college though.  Its not like a Sally Struthers endorsed diploma :P.  I was a C student in physical classes and now I have a 4.0 because I have no attention span so I cant listen to lectures but I can read them because when my mind wanders I just need to reread the lecture.

 

 

2920. How many years away are we from being able to colonize another planet?  Im pretty sure we’ll go extinct first.  Hopefully.  We need to be.  We’re kind of awful.

 

 

2921. Why did eyebrows evolve and what will they look like in a million years?  Eyebrows evolved because women think its sexy when a man makes a clever joke and does the one eyebrow raise.  Therefore austrolopithicus or whatever the fuck with big eyebrows got to breed more often than austro-no-eyebrows.  And that will never change.  These caterpillars arent going nowhere.

 

2922. Where exactly is Guam?  Guam is an island in the pacific that looks like its trying to stay just as far away from New Guinea, Japan, and the Philippines as it can without really going off the deep end of the ocean.

 

 

2923. What overwhelms you? my messy house.  BLARG.

 

 

 

2924. You may need a calculator for this one. Think of your weight. Divide it by 2.2 

 

multiply the answer by .8

 

What do you get? if this is a clever way to find out my weight I weigh 138 pounds

 

That is how many grams of protein you need to eat every day to stay healthy. Do you eat enough? Probably.  Im a meat eater and I love the PB.

 

 

 

2925. If you were given $1,000 to change the life of a perfect stranger, what would you do?  Keep it. 

 

 

2926. Why do we experience what’s called "Deja Vu?" probably because of dreams.

 

 

2927. What was your biggest Thanksgiving disaster – and how could you have prevented it?  Im unaware of any thanksgiving disasters.

 

 

2928. Which products, used by few today, will be essential in five years? gasmasks.  Im in a great mood today.

 

 

2929. In your opinion, what was the greatest sports feat ever accomplished? getting me to attend gym class.  Buddum ching.

 

 

 

2930. What does the ‘it’ stand for in post ‘it’ note?it doesnt stand for anything.  IT is a word.

 

 

2931. Who’s goin’ chicken huntin’? ew.  Not me.

 

 

2932. How many holes do you have in your body? more than you. 

 

 

 

2933. Are you dyslexic? nope.  But I have a joke about it.  A dyslexic man walks intoa  bra….

 

 

 

 

2934. Of the following words, which two make the most sense together and why? (mullet, brocollii, community, blue, phosphorous, hammer, ocean, hand)blue ocean.  Because we see the ocean as being blue.

 

 

2935. Can you give step by step instructions about how to be like you?  procrastinate.  Drink Coffee.  Read a lot.  Bitcha  lot.  Take your clothes off for money.  Make out. Adopt a lot of animals.  Make up annoying names to call the animals.  Be a cheapskate.  But really if you do the first step well enough you won’t ever get to the others.

 

 

2936. Pick a person you like: That seems hard today.  Ok I piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick Scooter.

 

Write a sentence about that person using the word "bewildered." Scooter was bewildered when I took his virginity and di

dnt call him later.

 

 

 

2937. What questions do you ask first when you meet a new person?I usually compliment something theyre wearing and ask them wear they got it.

 

 

2938. What is the highest spiritual achievement a person could ever reach?  To realize you can not believe in that bullshit and still be happy and non-evil, not because someone will reward you but just because being happy and non-evil is its own reward.

 

 

2939. Do you download porn?no I stream it.  Pfft.  Download.

 

 

2940. During what decade was popular music the most enjoyable? Probably the 1960s you have everything from great ska in jamaica to garage and psychadelic and even girl groups in North America and the UK.    Yeah the 1960s.  SIGH

 

 

 

2941. What was your last nightmare about?  EW.  Ok I only remember some parts.  There were two snakes on leashes, they were both well longer than 6 feet but one was as skinny as a noodle and the other was more like a bike tire.  and i squarshed the skinny one and then the other one tried to get up my bum and thats when I was so scared I woke up.

 

 

 

2942. Who are the people in your neighborhood?  I dont really know any of them.  The cats are captain black nose and Jungle Jen (though we took Jungle Jen in because she was stray and now she lives with us)

 

 

2943. What do you think of actress Winona Ryder?  Loved her in Mermaids.

 

 

2944. Who is your favorite comedian?  Maria BAMFOOOOOOOORD!

 

2944. What is the difference between spirituality and religion? hippies.

 

 

2945. Do you trust your instincts even when other people tell you that you are wrong?  Im trying to.  Because theyre right, let me tell you whut.

 

 

2946. Do you like movies about the meaning of life?  Like Monty Python’s The Life of Brian?

 

2947. If you were going to design the perfect significant other, what flaws would you give him or her?  Id make him an orphan.  Is that a flaw?  And Id make him unable to reproduce. 

 

2948. How much has the culture you live in influenced your opinions?  blaaaaah what culture?  I dont think coffee in a cardboard cup and Justin Beiber are very culturish.

 

 

2949. Is there any evil in Mother Theresa?  That she didnt come out and say she didnt believe in God while she was alive.  Letting us read that later was sucha  rip off.

 

 

2950. What is the speediest way you know of to get over a cold or flu?  watching the Price is Right with Bob Barker and Rod Roddy and drinking gingerale and eating Swiss Chalet Chicken Soup and WHINING.  Its the only way to get better EVER.