DisAPPOINTMENTS and Schedules.
Thai and I spent the whole day planning our vacation to Scotland and fucking. I frankly don’t know which one was more exhausting. We waited way too long to book hotels. We leave in less than 2 weeks and its high season there. So far this is the plan we have, try to say encouraging things to me about it 
Please note Im including the whole insane weekend prior so you can see that Im a sucker for being way too busy:
thursday 21: work until 8:30, go to all night dance party at the local indie hot spot.
Friday 22:pack, go to Thai’s band’s first show since the singer was ill
Saturday 23:1pm be in the park in browntown for accoustic river show Thai is playing, Saturday 5pm leave, 7pm be in Toronto to check in for 10:30 flight.
Sunday 24 9:30am Scotland time: arrive in glasgow, take shuttle to "quality hotel" (no shit thats the name). Eat something, pee, get some tourist info, then it should be check in time. Do glasgow. Go dancing that night.
Monday 25 9somethingam: go on west highland rail to Mallaig. Arrive at 1somethingpm. Go to tourist office, gain info about seeing the islands.
25, 26, 27th-Do god knows what and sleep god knows where (which should scare me, since Im a staunch, enthusiastic atheist). See Rum, Skye, Mallaig, or possibly head out to what ammounts to shitfuck nowhere where they go on hikes with llamas and drink a lot. Maybe take in a distillery and go sea kayaking (not in that order), look for basking sharks. Probably eat, get drunk, have crazy scottish sex up a crazy scottish hill.
Thursday the 28th- stay somewhere along Loch Gairloch. Hopefully in this crazy guest house called Dry Island which is on an island you get to by walking along a bridge that looks like it harbours a troll. Im waiting on an email from (the troll?) someone to see if there’s a room available that night. Get drunk with the locals. Go on a hike. Eat delicious scottish food.
Friday the 29th-See Inverness. More of that hiking stuff. But some cheesey souvineers. Play one of those games from the Lonely Planet Guide to Experimental Travel. Drink some. See a castle or three. What not.
Saturday the 30th-St. Andrews. Buy cheesy golf souvineers for mom and thai’s dad. Do some grave rubbing at the sweet old graveyard. Wander some. Drink some.
Sunday August 31st-head back to Glasgow being sure to totally snub the edinburgh festival just because we hate crowds and are fairly certain we cant find a room in the city at this point. Also because we’re getting there after the military tattoo and I wanted to see that. Buy lots of souveneers. Stay somewhere different than the first night. Party somewhere different than the first night. Check out the Barras. Eat haggis. Drink Whisky.
Monday September 1st-fly home. Arrive early afternoon in Toronto. Drive our own asses back to town :(. Because no one loves us enough to miss the labour day weekend festivities at the town fair. Not that we blame them. Thai and I are so bummed we’re missing the town fair. As you may recall we fist fooled around after the fair. Rummy had refused to take me and Thai took me instead and then afterwards we took a spin to the graveyard and got pretty hot in my tiny Japanese Automobile.
People with smart cars must know about entirely different sexual positions than the rest of us.
So thats the thoughts on the trip. We only actually have the first night and the flight booked. The rest of it will fall in to place this week probably. I hope. Maybe little elves and rumplestiltskin and shit will come and do it all for me.
Im totally missing out on the Queensferry area where my grampa’s great great grampa is from. Which sucks because it looks as though on of our clanmen runs……A LLAMA TREKKING BUSINESS there too, he has a mohawk and llamas. A man by any other name, with those credentials, would still be in my clan.
Want to know something sick and horrible and pathetic.
Im hoping Thai proposes to me in Scotland. And if he wanted Id elope with him there. Im a bad person to myself. Always setting myself up for these disappointment things.