Calling in sex.

Im so irresponsible.  Saturday I called in sick to work so I could stay in bed with Thai even though we had already had sex that morning and I could have still made it to work no problem.  Tsktsktsk.  And I like my job!  i only work 3 days a week.  I still can’t make it in every day.  I cannot do that ever again.  i need the money.  I have zero will power though.  I sort of was sick.  My family and I went to pizza hut the night before for a shindig and that shit is nasty.  I had a horrible headache and felt ill all night and day.  I still went out to the local Indie club to dance, and drink "purse guinness" (Guinness hidden in a purse….as oposed to drunk beer which is beer hidden in the trunk of my car).  The shows were good.  3 bands, lots of ass shaking.  Oh god and this guy I was in love with when I was 15 was there.  Back when I was a Jesus Kid.  Hes added me to MSN.  I wonder if hes still jesusy.  I dont think he is.  Just by the way he said no one else from back then talks to him anymore.  Thai and I danced the night away.  It was a blast.  Then we jumped into bed together where i had a massive headache and went to bed ….I made up for it in the morning and didnt get out until 2. 

 I hung out all day with him saturday effectively missing everything my friends got up to.  (dancing and drinking only with different people)  They say they tried to invite me but there wwere no emails or phone messages so I dont think they tried very hard.  Telepathic invites dont count.  This is not a situation in which it is the thought that matters.  They all pretend to be thrilled Im dating Thai but the truth is Im not going to fuck any of them ever again and that has lessened my appeal.  Also Im covorting with the enemy (rival bands) and that shit just aint gonna fly.  Ridamndiculous.  Whatever, if they want to have a big old sausage party they can be my bleeding guests.

Saturday night I played poker and did ok.  it was a two dollar buy in so the only reason I didnt win is because after a couple hours the thought of losing and getting to go fuck my boyfriend became kind of worth losing two bucks and the possibility of winning a whopping 16.  If it had been a $5 or $10 buy in it would have been worth my time to try.  I lost most of my chips on pocket kings.  POCKET KINGS.  unfair.  How can you not bet high with pocket kings?  It would have been unethical.   This crowd is actually pretty easy to beat because some of them are serious poker players and actually watch your moves.  But I dont have moves.  I sporadically bet and fold and check as it pleases me.  I barely know what beats what.  And I get really fucking drunk.  Reading my attention deficiet disordered mind soaked in gin is a job for a true behavioural expert, not a couple of indie musicians who are half in the bag themselves.  So anyways I was 5th out out of 8 and I went to bed with Thai and had wildly drunken, falling off the bed, running round the room sex.  I call that winning.

Sunday morning was weird.  we spent the entire morning in bed but thats not the weird part.  It was really romantic and intense because his room is way too bright in the morning.  The weird part being that at one point I held his arms down and he told me not to do that (he was kidding I guess….or thats what he claims) and I just burst into tears.  What the fuck?  He wasnt angry when he said it.  I just started bawling.  At the time I knew I was over reacting but couldnt figure out why.  I wasnt PMSing, Did I forget to take my birth control?  no.  Am i fucking pregnant?  God I hope not.  Nah thats not it.  Why was I being such an emotional freakshow?  He was really sweet about it.  He felt terrible that he actually made me cry during sex and he cuddled me and kissed me and gave me a back rub and before you know it we were back to the good stuff.  But what the fuck?  I guess I just like him so much that the thought of making him uncomfortable really bothered me.  or something.  I dont know its scary.  I dont think i want to like someone that much.  To avoid this in the future Im making him curtains for valentines day.  Lets have nice dark smutty sex.  No more romantic, honest, pure light of day shit.  Its way too much for someone like me.Obviously.  Maybe in a few months or years or something.   The whole weekend I was like one butterfly kiss away from dropping the L bomb.  And thats horrific.  I totally fucked my last relationship by saying it too soon.  Im a commie, bisexual. free range, crazy bitch.  I love everyone.  Dont hold it against me!  Its not really a big deal! 

After we got some food in our bellies we went to his parents house as that is where he does laundry.  his mom got out old photo albums and made me look at baby pictures.  I laughed, I joked, I charmed.  I tried my best.  I never seem to make a good connection with anyones mom.  Prolly because I feel like the whole time they know exactly what I do with their kids all sunday morning HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Its true though.  If I fucked you, it doesnt matter how June Cleaver your mom is.  I am terrified of her.  So it was pretty spooky.  She made applecrisp and Thai and I knit stuff.  And even though tye’s parents had thai before they got married (like a long time before) I still feel terrible in front of them.  I should be fine.  We’re all adults and atheists here.  Who cares?  Me.  Apparently.  Its the one area of life I am uptight about.  God dont let them think Im doing all those things Im doing to their kid.  Drummer let his dad see my pin up calendar one night at the pub and I nearly died.  It neither stopped him from buying me beers nor made him buy me more expensive beers.  I dont know what that means.

Next weeked I wont get to see Thai at all.  Hes recording and Im getting a tattoo so we’ll both be in Toronto but with different purposes and not at all together.  Bummer.  Thats why I gave him so much time this weekend.  4 sleeps til my tattoo.  YAY!