Beat writings: like erotica for librarians
So I finally felt bad about my promiscuity. Well just sleeping with Thai actually. Hes mad for me and I dont share his feelings at all. So its gotta end. In other news I flirted with Panda even though the man on the other side of me, namely Waldo, was really who I wanted. And I tried to hook up Chris with the bartender even though we just banged this week. So Im still a deviant seed. Dont worry.
SIGH life would be so much easier if I was in love with Thai or if Waldo was in love with me. Christ.
Events in linear order: Last night I went to see Thai’s band in Toronto. This girl he’s mentioned once or thrice was there and while Im ok with him dating someone else and want him to so he isnt on my back (or you know on me while Im on my back) anymore. But yeah she wasnt even kind of pretty or interesting. So I flirted with him right in front of her. And then I went home. And his roommate felt so bad for what he did last time (see entry Thai One On) that he called his girlfriend at 4am to get a ride to her place so we could have the apartment. So yeah loud sex happened. But I wasnt all there. i was sober. I was wanting romance and not getting it. I was wanting romance with someone other than Thai. So that was bullshit.
So of course you know I had sex with him again in the morning. That has got to stop. NO MORE THAI.
Fair. Ok. Then I went home at 3pm to begin getting ready for the library christmas party. Arlington was sposed to go with me. He cancelled as he had to work. I had 3 hours to find a new date and get him dressed. I started with Waldo. Who actually considered it. But hes so painfully shy he declined. SHOCKING. I thot he would have been like "we arent dating anymore go to hell". But he even tried to talk himself into it so I stopped him because I dont want to do that to anyone. Librarians are socially awkward enough. I dont need to bring my own no-talker (not a BYONT party)
So I went and asked Chris next who said it would be boring but hed go. SO obviously not going to take him. Did NOT ask Thai. So I quit. By this time there was like an hour left and I had already started talking myself into going stag. I dressed head to toe in vintage 60s silver. Behived the hair. Went alone. It was good. The librarian I thot was cute looks exactly like his wife/girlfriend whatever. My netire office spread out. I ended up kicking it with my boss, the gallery boss, and the circ desk folks. Good times had. Librarians are so socially awkward that one of them made a comment on my compact and then i said thanks. She kept looking so I made another comment. She didnt stop so I finally spplied lipstick with audience. CREEPY.
Also creepy: The catorer’s son was there (handing out meat). He went "what are you doing here"…dont know him. What he meant was I dont look like I work at a library. He had no idea what the branches of libraries were called in his own town. Then he tries to pick me up. Ahhhh so you dont read and you subscribe to stereotyping. No thanks. So then I couldnt get anymore sweddish meatballs or ribs. Cuz the creeper was in charge of em. The Librarians got a hoot out of it. I shoulda known. Last time I went to a library function stag I ended up bedazzled with Irish love bites. Then engaged. HA. No more Stag anywheres.
The guys did agree to meet me in a townie sort of bar tonight after my party. I was there 30 minutes early. In a run down dive. Head to toe in vintage metallic clothing. Super. I looked like an amazingly lost drag queen….it was a scene write out of The Adventures of Priscilla Queen fo the Desert. My boys came wandering in already drunk. Chris and Waldo at first. Waldos brother, Panda, And Scooter to join. The girls running the bar had us smoke them a joint and we stayed after hours, summoning our friend upstairs either by the smell of pot or cell phones. Dont recall which came first. Then I read some William S. Burroughs I had in my evening bag. What? Im a library tech. And I was stoned and his informal use of the english language gave me a girlboner. And Ive gone home alone. Please gawd let Waldo come over. Hes so drunk he’d probably go forever. If only I wasnt a dirty atheist my prayers would be answered. Well Im high and my makeup is beginning to freak me out. Imma go read more beat writing like its Smut. Because when youre mind is smutty anything can be smutty. No but really, theres something to be said about the brave disregard for proper form. Sound versus Grammar. Hmmmm….well think about it, no one has grammatical sex but people pay their children to go into town for coffee so they can have loud sex. Sound is arrousing. I gave that book to Panda as he has finally agreed to give me the relic of a velour sweatshirt I wore to long beach as a talisman many moons ago. I love panda.
I bet pinkmonkey has some jack kerouac and ginsberg on it. oooooh Ginsberg, you sexy bitch.