Baby I like the way you move

Ok I’m almost entirely moved in, and the burlesque show is in three weeks.  So I finally have a little bit of time to write again.  Soon enough I’ll be a regular again.  I cant believe its taken nearly a month and a half to move in.  I got this cute apartment on a street that only has 1 house.  That 1 house is converted to 4 apartments and I have the huge top floor one.  It has 2 big bedrooms, 1 big kitchen, 1 big living room, and a small sewing room.  Also it has a balcony and a bathroom.  The shitty thing that is always going to irk me is that I rented the apartment.  I paid first and last.  I got all the utilities in my name.  And then Thai not only has never slept anywhere else since I took possession, but after 3 days of me officially living here he decides to move in with me.  Does he ever split the first 2 weeks rent?  Does he split the giant grocery bill with me?  No.  What the fuck.  I even told him how mad I was about it and alls he said was hes sorry.

No.  I want money, fool.

Whatever.  So we live together now.  And he’s not so bad.  He doesnt have any concept of eating cheaply.  Im a rice, water, and occasional burger person.  He makes meals.  Like real balanced one.  And buys cheese and eggs and bread and things.  Like as if we’re ona  farm in the 1800s.  But at least we’re splitting the bills now.  I was looking forward to being on the malnutrition diet for awhile.  Especially with my burlesque show fast approaching.  HAHA

No I like my body its cool.  I never get that skinny.  And whenever I start losing my fabulous ghetto ass I run out (or rather walk slowly and try not to burn anymore calories) and get a giant fucking pizza and maybe some wings and rage against the losing of the weight.  Ribs are for BBQs.  Tasty Tasty BBQs.  Trust me ladies, Ive fucked a few skinny broads in my day.  Theres nothing to grab on to.  Its weird.  I mean I suppose you could grab the ribs but thats like grabbing the old people bars that are in public bathrooms.

Anyways Im really working on getting him out of the house more.  We officially spend too much time together and now that most of the work is done we need to re-inject seperate social time into our lives.  Very conveniently I no longer want to spend time with his friends.  Many of his friends committed to the burlesque show and then dropped out in the last 2 weeks.  Ive scrambled madly to find a musician and it looks like Drummer is going to….Drum.  Thai is still playing bass.  If that plan goes forth it should be swell.  Tonight Im having Drummer over for beer and dinner and I shall butter him up further.  What a surprise though, Ive slept with the whole house band :P.  At least this time its just 2 people.

Another challenge with living together is the cat.  The cat drives me fucking nuts.  I dont like cats.  Socially theyre fine but I dont want to live with one.  Its a bit of an odd situation too because Thai’s old roommate wanted to keep the cat.  The cat he never fed.  The cat he told us we should put down when it was sick.  The cat he let another cat attack for a few hours while he was drunk.  So obviously we didnt let him.  I even got totally pissed and had another of my infamous fits when Thai suggested he didnt want to fight over the cat.  In the end it wasnt a fight.  We have cars and live in another town.  He has no way of getting here even if he knew where here was.  So we just took the cat. 

Reasons why the cat is annoying

-broke a vintage perfume bottle

-smells

-food smells

-hates my rabbits

-bites

-sheds black fur all over everything

-tries to escape (good ridance)

-once bit my toe right when I was about to orgasm.

We aren’t friends.

Yes so I have two rabbits now.  I thought it would be nice to get a second rabbit since my old rabbit was friends with my mom’s dog and I didnt want her to get lonely.  So after weeks of searching and meeting rabbits at shelters Thai played hookie from work and we drove along the 403 stopping in each town’s humane society til we found one that was neutered and awesome.

His name is Hoppipolla.  He came with the name Maxwell but fuck that, he’s definetly into Icelandic soundscapes.

He’s big and floppy eared and raggedy looking.  Very different from my mini rex.  He sheds even worse than the cat unfortunately.  But he always uses his litter box.  Hoppipolla also grunts.  Very odd.  Every time I move something in his cage he grunts.  Its supposed to be a precursor to biting but he doesnt do that.  In fact one day he ran up to me and licked each of my heels.  He loves me, thats why.

Sopwith the little bunny HATES Hoppipolla the mammoth rabbit.  The other night Soppy actually lef tthe room and then came back ten minutes later squealling and grunting and attacked hoppy, ninja style.  It was weird.  Hoppipolla never bites back though.  Theyre easy to seperate.  I just pick up Soppy and we’re so bonded she calms down again immediately.  Apparently it just takes a long time to get rabbits to fall in love.  But once they start grooming eachother they’re good to go.

So we wait.

If Soppy doesnt stop being an asshole I’ll have her spayed.  Its kind of pricey but like, its so weird because she’s nice to people.  She loves people.  But other rabbits apparently really irk her.

As per Ninoc’s request I will now always include the top 5 sexiest things.  Keep in mind it’s Thai’s birthday month so things have been very him-centric lately.

5.  This month as part of Thai’s birthday gift he gets to take all the photos he wants of me naked.  Having sex, naked, wearing something kinky.  Whatever.  He’s the director. 

4.  Listening to Bass guitar all day and night.  Thai’s been practicing for the show and playing all these slinky bass lines designed for taking ones clothes off to.

3.  The drive in.  Thai and I have always been the type to go to the drive in and have sex.  Harold and Kumar escape from Gitmo just doesnt hold my attention teh way steaming up windows can. I had been upset the last time because during the first feature (sex in the city) somehow we got on the topic of children.  And we had the talk.  Because Im staunchly against giving birth when there are so many unloved people on the earth.  And Thai is totally up for adopting.  So yay!  But of course it’s Thai so it took awhile to drag that answer out of him.  Anyways, car sex is hotter when you’ve had a heart wrenching discussion earlier that evening in that car.  We drove home with me taking naked pictures of myself while he drove.  45 minutes is a long time to just sit and be a passenger.

2.  The other night I unpacked a little girl’s plaid dress I used to wear in high school.  So I did myself up in full p-0unk regalia, except I cant find where I packed my docks so I had to wear these giant black and white

high heels.  But I looked amazing.  The dress his pinned together with safety pins because frankly little girls dresses have no boob-space.  I threw on black make up and tied a big black ribbon twice around my body underneath so Thai could tear off my clothes and unwrap me like a gift.  Did I mention the red fishnets underneath were crotchless because little brother ripped the crotch out of all my fishnets so he could borrow them and not have his junk smushed up?  Yeah.  HAHAHA Thai turns around from making his lunch and Im sitting on the giant table his grandpa made, a foot on each chair, putting on my red lipstick.

MHM

1.  Death by chocolate.  There was an arts festival last week in the tricity area and one of the events was at a dairy queen.  2 photographers were taking photos of people who had staged their own crime scene with chocolate sauce instead of blood.  Anyone could model who wanted to.  Thai and I went.  Ok that part is not sexy.

But when we got home we were covered in chocolate sauce.

MUAHAHAHAHA  I love me a chocolate dipped man.

and THAT is what living in sin is all about.

I gotta go.  Lotsa stuff to get done today.