How soon before you can really say you’re in love?

It’s been six days.  I can’t honestly say I really know her all that well, but there is just something about her that grabs me and doesn’t let me go.  I feel like I’ve been bewitched by a voodoo princess, and that my fate is no longer entirely in my hands.

I have no clue why this is all happening, but each time I see her, or talk to her, or just look at the pictures I have of her, I find that I am in as much control of my senses as a lemming on its way to that inevitable "eternal bath."  What the heck is going on here???

So much has happened over these past six days, and she and I have been on an emotional roller-coaster all the way through.  She doesn’t want, or need, a relationship right now.  And I certainly don’t want a serious commitment either.  I feel like I was on my way to a little league game, only to find myself in the middle of the Superbowl, with the ball in my hands, a few seconds left on the clock, and an entire field of vicious opponents left to plow through.  It’s not a situation I wanted, nor expected.

But it’s here.  And it’s now.

She’s just come off a bad relationship, and needs time to breathe.  She was happy to just "date around" for a bit.  I, on the other hand, am nine months out of my past relationship… telling myself that I really want to have a girlfriend, but not prepared to find someone who would take over my entire life like she has. 

Damn it, I want to be in control of myself!  I want to be able to say that I am charting my own course.  Now it all seems as if I’ve hitched a ride on a one-way chariot race from hell, with flaming horses and nary a whip in sight.  And the scariest thing about it is I don’t know if I should want to win or not.  What would happen to me if I lose?  What would happen to me if I win???

I am totally out of sorts.  I haven’t felt this way since I was back in high school.  What the **&&^%$$%# is wrong with me???