Minute by Minute getting Irriated
So tired of having fake people in my life. It seems the gap between my sisters and I just keep getting bigger and bigger. No idea how to try being close to them. With my friends it easier for some reason I don’t know why it just is. My brothers and sisters and I don’t really talk much. I’d like to change that but that probly won’t happen. Maybe it will in years to come. Oh well if it doesn’t things happen for a reason. Just wish I could wave a magic wand and say *abra ca dabra* and have everything the way its sopposed to be but that wont happen I have to do it myself. No big deal I’ve had to handle alot of stuff on my own why should this be any different. It’d be so much easier if they would try also not just having me try. Not sure really where this is goin… Hmmm… anyhow I feel miserable at this moment. Thinking to much of this and other problems happening with Kathy a.k.a egg donor. Then dealing with trying to get into college and getting my finicial stuff in order *sigh* this is harder then it looks.
Hopefully one day i’ll have my life in order where atleast i’m somewhat happy and not miserable all the time as i am now. Uhhhh no more depression I want to be happy. I put up an act making it look like my happy all the time when really feel so dead in the inside. Sometimes I think hmmm maybe a guy would help but then I realize probly more drama and I have to much as it is in my life. But then I also think how much i’m missing out. In someways a guy could make me happy but also you can’t always rely on a person. I have to stand tall make my self happy and go from their I suppose. I’m going to start making my self more motivated in the things I do and not do it half hearted that is no way going about doing things. I should be putting my whole heart in the things I do. Starting tomorrow I’m so on top of things. 🙂
List of things to do:
1. Get my stuff packed
2. Find a friend to help me move my stuff
3. Work on getting into college/ fincial stuff in order
4. >:) so need a boyfriend rofl
Sisters are always going to fight 🙂 Me and mine do, but in the end they are your blood and you HAVE to love them )
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It is a good step that you’ve realized things could be harder. I went through that at 20, and then I just realized I was the one making it harder. Not to say that is the case with you, but I know this is my only chance to survive. Not quitting at once is not an option. I have “quit” many times before, but I am a replacer . . . nothing is ever lost without something in its place.
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Thank You.
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1) thank you for your note, it was exactly what I needed to hear, it made my day 🙂 2) I know what you are feeling with the sister thing, mine got married & moved off right after our mom died,it’s heartbreaking not being close! 3) guys make things compicated, but I get the need for a bf, he will come along, just like everything else, it’ll all fall into place…eventually, I am still waiting too:)
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