Lost memories

I dont remember alot of my childhood. I’ve somehow locked away most of the memories. I have good reason to though. I was never taken care of when i was young. My mother was horrible. She couldnt take care of none of my brothers and sisters. She is a drunk and addicted to drugs  and as well as today she is still on both. I dont have many memories of living with her. Mostly i know this stuff is becaus my family has told me what it was like or how they saw it. I was living with my mother up intill i was four years old. Eventually around that time my grandmother got custody of me and my two sisters. I orginally have thirteen brothers and sisters not counting the two on my fathers side. Even living wth my grandmother my memories of even living with her are vague. I have a hard time remembering even those. There are a few i remember but not much. But i am thankfull for my grandmother everyday from taking me away from being in a horrible place.