As far as I can.

She says we need to change back, and I get it.
Our love was so strong we turned into each others monsters. Each others boogeyman

And now we try, and now we try.

She is Italian cinema fuoco. 

I would love to run down a cobbled street with her, looking like models. Unabashedly wearing mime clothes while we make out by the dumpsters in which case she’ll say that was never her, and who do I think I am why-

 

Sh. Sh. Sh. One day the brightness of your life will blind you

 

One day the sweetness of your life will gut you.

We think we know pain till we get what we want and then we know pain.

 

Pain is, it’s real.
and I say on a particularly hard day it is painful to let the day go.
It is painful to not wish for a do over, a redo, and 1 up. Another chance.

Not to do anything crazy. Jesus, calm down.

Calm down. You aren’t in danger, and I’m not mad.

But like a Groundhog Day. Like I already know how the days is going to go, and so I just go through the day doing everything right.

No one is upset, everyone is content, heard.

Yeah, heard.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Tea and conversation

Laughter and porn

Skin and tongues,

Laying on top of the covers as you burrow underneath them all.

You ever watch “Where dreams may come?” Where you find out what soulmates are and do and be?

Yeah, like that. Like my day isn’t good if I can’t either watch you or make you smile, feel happy, content, unashamed. Content. Adored, content.

We can go, wherever and whenever and whatever. I’ll travel down every road with you. Through hell and back,

Just like Robin William’s son, but you didn’t know it was his son because of Cuba Gooding Junior and just like them maybe you didn’t know how important this would become, or how much just looking at each other for a minute helps ground me. Us? Helps calm the rattle and the loose plates. This face. Your beautiful captivating, Adorable, face. All of it is mine. I need more moments just to just look at this beautiful face of yours.

Mine. Just mine.

But I knew something. Didn’t we? I felt something. I just couldn’t call it by its name.

 

Transcendant. Change, Evolve, Blossom, Transform. Change change change.

No one truly transforms, but we have come a long way. No one else will do. Ever. I need you. Not want. Need. Like on the survival table you would be included in on the list of: Shelter, water, food, and you.

Cold, complaining, brutally honest, worried, intellectual, pot stirring, Obsessive, fiery, seductress, stubborn stubborn stubborn.

You get the point.

You.

This isn’t some Elton John song. We aren’t talking about a cheap imitations,

I feel you here and here and here.

Do you understand?

I feel you.

So you see, you don’t have a choice. You have to be my person.

And you have to walk by my side, as long as you can, as long as I can.

like you say,

 

”Till we do it all over again but meet each other sooner next time.”

Yes, my dearest, Yes my love.

I am Italian cinema-ing right now.

(Black and white, Man shakes his fist at the sea who took his love, teeth showing, tears coursing down, in between the wrinkles.)

 

I understand the lighthouse song now Love.

I do.

After the light house keepers wife died, he was done as well. Her didn’t want to make even one more memory without her. Not.One.More.Memory.

You will be coming with me for as long as you can and then I swear I’ll carry you the rest of the way, as far as I can hon.

As far as I can.
and if I can’t carry you

Then I’ll at least sit by your side.