i AM happy…and perfectly sane*

The brownies were good! 😀 They cooked like almost perfectly and they tasted awesome! 

I think i’ve finally found my forte….baking! 😛 After many burns and cuts in normal cooking, and failures and overcookings and blandness, i think i really have found the thing i’m good at! Making sweets…hehe 😀

I’m going to try to get the stuff to make a chocolate pound cake this weekend, so, we’ll see how my first cake goes! 😛

If it goes good I plan on taking tons of it to school to give to my friends…for they are my cruelest critics 😉 Nahh, they just like free food. xD

So..Jacob and I aren’t "together" anymore…life is so ironic sometimes! XD

I know in my last entry I wrote about things…and yeah, well, it is funny.

You’d think i’d be upset, but i’m only a little…i think that I knew it was coming before it actually came…well, my body knew and my mind was too slow to catch on. Because on Thursday I cried my eyes out and i couldn’t really put a why to it…and then friday he decided we needed to take another "break." I know the reason…but I’d rather not say as of yet, i don’t think he’d like me to.

It’s an actual reason though, and its something that I can’t change and have no control over…so, i don’t know.

He came over today…it was actually the funnest i’ve had with him in a while, lol…

I like…stuck my tongue out and was like *Splah* and then he did it back…and it escalated into like nasty spitting in the face, but i took what he spit on my face and wiped it on his and he did the same for what i did, and it was hilarious, cuz we were both like EWW EWW EWW!! XDD Yeah…we may be immature, but at least we have fun! 😀

Then it got into a pillow fight, which was cool and then into a fake farting contest….needless to say he was better than me at  both. I’m weak and i don’t practice making farting noises with my hands…rofl xD

But yeah….the ironic thing is I was just telling my friend Tarra how i was sorry for being so depressed for the last few months, because i thought i was finally starting to become myself again, and it was a great feeling, and how i thought i had been depressed because Jacob broke up with me the first time…back in October, and right before that is when it started…and then it just spiraled. And I told Tarra that i thought i was finally getting over the fear of him possibly breaking up with me again…LOL…how ironic is that? Because just 2 hours later, he did.

Well, I don’t think it’s a particularly bad thing…because "breaking" up…for us…anyway, is just…not feeling obligated to do things. Which, i mean, thats a good thing…cuz things get uninteresting and a force of habit and a "have to" instead of a "want to" in relationships.

So, i’m not sure…i know he loves me….i know he’s going to be in my life…i just don’t know what role he will play.

My best friend? My lover? Both? Neither? I don’t know.

We had a Civics test today…it was on all the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution…and we had to like, write it all down from memory..but the cool thing was he walked out of the room for like 20 minutes and the guy beside me, Nathan (who is awesome by the way) and I decided that we would…"take advantage of the opportunity at hand…" Lol…we looked at our notes and answered them.

But hey, it’s not my fault..i would have been prepared if I had actually had TIME to study, the night before I had stayed up for until like 2 am doing 128 questions on the damned Constitution and 2 packets of fill in the blanks and stuff. AND I had to read 2 chapters in the Great Gatsby for English III….blah. We had a test on that today too…and it’s not fair because I cannot remember half the things I read in novels…i mean, I actually READ them and i do worse than the people who use summaries from Sparknotes and stuff.

Because on the test we had for The Scarlet Letter I made a 92.5 and I read the entire book. The guy who sits in front of me, John (who is also awesome!) didn’t read but like 1 chapter of the book and looked at summaries online and made a 97.5….how unfair is that?! 😛

But yeah..i really want to go back to how I used to be…i’ve been asking some friends that i’ve had for a while about how i used to be…and they all give pretty much the same answer…happier, always joking, and just enjoying life…and now, i don’t do those things.

I’m not exactly sure why, but I am going to get back to that.

It will be hard..because that happened gradually..and it will take a while to go back, but I felt it start yesterday…and i’m going to get there, i’m going to be the old me, the real Kara again. 🙂

Because, who doesn’t like being happy?

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I’ve an answer for that question…and he knows who he is. -_-