New Rule

Old people don’t get a pass on bad behavior because “they’re old and they don’t know any better and they’ve always been this way!”

That’s the new rule. Even if they’re sick octagenarians.

My husband’s stepfather made a sexist comment tonight on a video call. Everyone ignored him except me. I said, “excuse me?” in  the offended tone you’d expect. That was ignored too. I didn’t say anything else. I get that I should have. But really, his stepson and his wife should have said something to him years ago, but they enable his crap behavior.

When in-laws say shitty sexist things, it’s icky and demeaning. I hate them both. I hate them so much.

It’s an awful thing to say, but I’m glad he’s sick. And his stepson is a jerk for not telling him not to talk that way. It’s always on me. I’m always the “bad guy” and the “shield.”

I’ve been growing a spine. Saying excuse me isn’t enough when my daughter is sitting right there. I demanded more equity in the household this week though and that’s huge for my kid and me (even though it’s going to mean more chores for her).  I guess I’m learning to stick up for myself, a tiny bit. Baby steps and all that. And I plan to say to the husband, “when your stepfather makes sexist comments, it’s upsetting and demeaning. When he’s ignored, he doesn’t stop, it just encourages him.”   I’ll get an excuse or some crap, or he’ll go off and tell him “APEXBLOOM SAID…!” which isn’t actually what I want.  ugh.  At least I will say my peace.  At least with COVID, I don’t have to deal with his bad behavior in person for a bit.