Drunk as shit and I dont give a damn.

On my way home from work I stopped by the local liquor store and got myself some vodka and brought i home.  Its about damn time I decided and chose to drink as much as i wanted to.  I’m quite possible becoming an alcoholic but I just dont give a damn anymore.  I need something to numb me.  Both inside and out.  

Its nice.  Feeling this floaty feeling.  Feeling a bit more relaxed feeling light headed… kinda brings back memories of those times I lingered on deaths door steps. Honestly, in all my opinion i think i’ve drank more than enough, a third of the bottle is gone and I seem to feel as if I need more, cause I’m still thinking… my tears wont flow but I feel so out of place… god typing is a damn heavy hard as shit task. 

I’ve got chills, and that slight burning sensation on my liver, i’ve gone to the bathroom maybe three times since 11 pm and its just so strange you know?… honestly nothing makes sense in my head.  All my thoughts are jumbled.  I know they are trying to lead me somewhere but I cant seem to get them organized, I have to go back and read what I’m typing at least twice before I know what the hell it says.  

Its the second time i’ve gotten like this.  First time it wasn’t so heavy… the drinks weren’t that loaded, butt this time they are.  I’ve filled up my cup twice, Taco bell cup with 1/4 vodka and 2/4 sodea mixed with anything else i can get.  My toes are freezing.  my body has soo many chills its disturbing….

my uncle is coming up from texas this up coming week.  he’s going to bring the truck.  and when he does moms giving it up for another car.

anyway, i think i ‘m ganna go take some sleeping pills or something.  Everything seems to be slowing down for me and i’m starting to creep myself out.  Been feeling the ibby jibbies and I’m starting to think i’m high instead of drunk.  Which reminds me.  I should ask that chick for some oxy or something.  Anything to get me high for a bit, some uppers and maybe some downers as well…. i do need my sleep.

but before that.  I’ve been having an ok week i suppose, the purpose of such heavy drinking?  I just dont want to fucking think anymore.  Honest I  just want my brain to stop processing all this information thats driving me insane. Half of the time i want to cry and scream and just throw a tantrum like some five year old child… but i can’t…

anyway can’t hold my eyes open anymore.  Night.

~Anti~

The Kirby Dance:

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