The Three Languages

Communicating tension, or frustration, is somewhat difficult…as an audience rarely cares to empathize with it, preferring instead to throw it into a small contained box, and file it under the don’t-care or thank-god-it’s-not-me-ha-ha sections of their input logs. Truth be told, I’m only speaking for myself…others, namely women, are able to empathize much better than I (if only to use as a catalyst to bring up something from their own lives). I myself can only bring myself to empathize if I’m listening to someone whom I value, or want to eventually have sex with. Beyond that I only care to hear things that interest me– namely honest, personal musings, that aren’t blind, or utterly predictable.

It’s mostly in this reason that I can not tolerate group communication. Unless I am able to control, completely, the subjects of dialogue, I become so rapidly bored, that I feel as though I would rather beat my face into a bloody mess than continue suffering the inane dialogue that ensues when I’m not in charge of what’s being discussed– one on one communication is much easier to dominate, and direct. It all boils down to the three levels of communication, and my natural tendency to hear every level at once.

The first is is what is said, the second is what is meant, and the third– which can only be calculated after the second is deciphered– is the person’s motive for saying it in the first place…which is, in my opinion, often the only aspect of what is said that is of any importance (though that too can be mind numbingly boring). For instance, a man might approach the bar, and say to the bartender, while gesturing at a woman he knows who is sitting within ear shot; "give her a few shots of Jager, she can handle it." What is said is obvious, he wants the bartender to give her some Jager shots. What is meant, which is also obvious, is that she hates the stuff…as the laughter that springs up from all involved suggest irony. The motive for saying it, of course, was just to make her laugh, and hopefully have sex with her at some point in the future. A very simple example, but one that explains my meaning, I think.

When things are boiled down to such a degree, you can imagine the tedium of conversations in groups, that often sound something like this to me; I want to have sex with you. I want you to to be impressed. I want to have sex with you. I want to have sex with you. I like the attention you are giving me. I want to have sex with you. I want to have sex with you. I want to hurt you. I am cool. I am insecure. I want to have sex with you. I love me. I want to see your tits. I want to have sex with you. I am strong. I want to have sex with you. My penis is large. I want to have sex with you. I want to hurt you. I want you to hurt me. I want to have sex with you…

Epilogue-

I don’t need to actually dominate -what- is being said, or even what topic is being discussed, I just need to be able to veto instances where people are speaking, but not really saying anything. If I can hear ulterior motives in what is being said, I just can’t stomach the conversation. Just communicate honestly, and let others judge for themselves…don’t try to skew things in your favor.

Damn, that’s brilliant. Kinda makes ya sound like an asshole, especially the part about controlling conversations, but that’s ok, cause I’m an asshole too. 😉 And yes, my penis IS large…how’dyouknowthat??? *looks around furtively* … but sadly, no, I don’t wanna have sex with you. Unless of course you’re a really hawt chick masquerading as a guy. lol

Tell me something, do you drink alot? or do you work in a morgue, hospital or nursing home? these are serious questions, and if they are not too personal I would like to know. no

re: your comment, lots of damaged and useless people out there– so, what do you consider damaged and useless? The way that I feel about that is that there are no individuals who are entirely useless. God has made us all with a purpose but sometimes it takes humans a long time to figure that out. Some don’t know their purpose right away. AND, some might appear uselessto one individual but might mean the whole world to another human. ie. I might appear useless to strangers but my family thinks differently. i.e. you might appear useless to strangers, but to some that you know, you might mean the whole world to them. those are just examples not statements. so what is useless to you?

oh, so you are not from America, correct?

RYN bed, usually is a safe zone, that is unless a car comes through your walls. And that is exactly why i told the real estate person that I did not want a corner house. Usually, usually the houses they go through are corner houses. Even most corner homes are safe as they set up unnatural boundaries, fences etc, bouldersetc. in hopes that these things will stop thespeeding cars. Speed kills. even while a person sleeps, speed kills.

RYN; Well, then, if that is what you think -re rudeness. Perhaps that is from your area of the country. To me, and to many, asking a question –even as an answer , is not rudeness but sometimes it is merely a way to become clearer on what that person is really asking. For myself, I need to be really clear, about questions, as I sometimes have a lack in communication, sometimes not fully understanding people. And so, well, I ask questions. When i am sure of something, usually then I don’t ask but can answer. Our country has PLENTY of outreaches…re; illegals. We have organizations that reach out to many kinds of foreignors, to help them become citizens etc, to get them food and clothing. our cities even have free breakfast and lunch programs all summer, so they are not for lack of food at least in summers. (oh, no identification is asked. Just show up and have breakfast in the participating schools and churches).

This is really great to read because it is something that I attempt to do but don’t succeed at too well mainly because I get swept away in conversation too easily. I just sincerely hope that if someone is speaking to me their motives wouldn’t all be sexual in nature. = That might be every girl’s hope though.