The Sweetest Embrace

"It’s lonely here, there’s no one left to torture."

I find myself entrapped, cut off, locked out, and locked in. The morning sun brings me a cyclical moment of psychosis, which seems to grow from day to day. Insomnia perverts my optimisim, and weakens the fledgling connection I have with the world beyond my own thoughts. Devices of escape and exploration– books, films, articles, etc.. seem to be losing their ability to pull me outside-in. The days grow warmer. The world gets older. Integrity succumbs to the rising tide of aggressively insignificant ambition. I watch the veneer of strength that coats my elders splinter and crack and reveal itself; hollow statues on the hill top. I watch my peers dig holes, one by one, and step into them with their infant children. I see the ones who remain in the palm of my hand; rotten, worn, and inedible. I flick them one at a time into the dark ravine of the future. They bounce and tumble down the slope…out of sight. I search through the garden for more, but find only sand and more sand… a piece of broken crab grass here and there. I continue to pat those that surround me on the head and feed them candy, while gazing vacantly over their heads at the ruin of the world. Honesty escapes my mouth like a black plague and wilts those that come into contact with it. The cables strain, and fibers begin to snap like old guitar strings. The sun rises yet again and pauses… the confused chirping of the birds accellerates in the unnatural pause; lawnmowers buzz and smoke and overheat; trumpeting car horns grow in duration and number. I thrash and scream and throw my weight repeatedly into reality’s door…. and then it cracks. A whisper of a cool wind sneaks through and greets my nose… just enough to momentarily calm me, and put me to sleep.

"To think we can find happiness hidden in a kiss"
"I think we can find happiness."
"Though it’s the greatest mistake there is."

"My desire for it is endless,"
"And I will love it until I fall."

"I just don’t care anymore,"
"And that’s the sweetest embrace of all."