The Benefit in the Balance

It is important to remember that although one’s shames or shortcomings have a detrimental effect to one’s ego, and overall enjoyment, that they serve a hidden purpose. Were we the perfected versions of ourselves that we would prefer, without any semblance of inadequacy or humility, we would unknowingly, and accidentally, close more doors than we would open…because people, selfish mirror-peering creatures that we are, do not appreciate vanity and arrogance in others, as it only serves to remind us of our own shortcomings, on a subconscious and emotional level. This also applies, in an inverted fashion, with the people we encounter, strangers or friends or otherwise, so that the better we feel about ourselves, the worse they tend to feel about themselves, and the less they tend to enjoy our company and general engagement.

I noticed this some time ago. I spent a week more or less on top of the world, and seemed to only draw looks of guilt and aversion from other people. Sure I felt fantastic, but I spent most of that time absorbed in myself, smug and generally intolerable…which, if you’ve ever felt that way, you know that at such times you could really care less about the feelings of others, which is essentially the attitudinal root of the "problem."

Shortly after that week of living the high-life, I took a swan dive down a flight of stairs and landed face first on a box of metal cans that I was carrying, bruising half of my face in terrible and shameful ways. I slogged forth into society, helpless to disguise the gigantic black and blue embarrassment stamped on the side of my face, and although I felt like complete shit everywhere I went, people seemed to respond to me incredibly well…even flirting with me, and casting longing glances despite my complete momentary lack of ego. I can only assume that it is because people can perceive subtle things about another’s attitude, and tend to be drawn more towards a good balance of vanity and humility, than to either one in particular, in a purer form..