Myspace Pile
Warrior of Faith
Do no be deceived by the assumption that the hero overcomes his own obstacles and handicaps, and is therefore granted superiority over them. His superiority, rather, has long been present, and the obstacles in his path are mere points along his time line in which he is required to tap into his potential and demonstrate his power. A power that was already present, whether he knew it or not.
David slew Goliath long before he stood before him; kingly eyes gleaming with intelligence, focused on Goliath’s forehead with faith and a premeditated plan of attack– his true weapon and birthright. His power was instilled by divine province and genetics, and it was not in the brief moments that he tapped into his potential that made him a hero, it was simply being born that accomplished this. If his faith in himself and in God had waned at all during his confrontation, he would not have slain the giant.
While it may seem like a very petty distinction, somewhat reminiscent of the "chicken and the egg" concept, let me emphasize the importance of the elements specifically as I have just explained them, for this is a concept which applies heavily to things that I am the most partial to. There is an intangible presence which must exist in all of my heros in order for them to make an impression on me, and it is this divine presence that makes them what they are. The core of their person. The untapped potential.
A tall warrior without heart, adorned in armor and equipped with fine weapons still holds no candle to the short and wiry warrior with iron clad determination and faith. It is this dormant and lurking power, hidden by the unassuming guise of the hero’s supposed handicaps, that bears the most weight in my favorable opinions. Stories which fascinate and empower me the most contain this ideal. A perfect example of it would be the United State’s involvement in World War II. An unlikely nation in the depths of a depression tapping into it’s potential to overthrow the Axis armies. A member of the Japanese government, attempting to warn his nation of it’s actions prior to attacking the United States, was quoted with my favorite quote of the entire war;
"Do not wake the sleeping giant."
Why is this distinction between given potential, and earned strength so important? Perhaps it deals with my outlook on life, and my ideal for Godliness and absolutes…my ideal perfection as hidden and reserved, rather than worn on the sleeve. The notion that any of life’s concerns are pointless, for God already has it well under control..
5:41 AM – 1 Comments – 0 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove
Unbiased Computer Review (Geeks Only)
Unbiased Fact: Microsoft makes shitty products.
As a life long Apple advocate and "nonconformist" loather of all third rate ideas based off of better ideas and exploited through media in order to make money, I was very interested in Apple’s latest computer model; the Intel Mac. As my younger brother just purchased one of these, I recently had the delightful opportunity to test it out. If you’re not privy, this computer enables one (if they so desire) to purchase a copy of any Windows based operating system and install it within the OSX operating system, thus allowing the Apple computer full compatibility with any Windows based software. Inside OSX, Windows runs much like a program; in either a smaller window or in full screen, and all viruses incurred are segregated to the Windows partition alone and can not infiltrate Apple’s native operating system. This practice is nothing new, as emulators for different operating systems have always been available, however now that Intel is making the processor chips for the Apples, Windows can run at full speed, without the performance lag that would otherwise be present.
Apple computers have never been popular for only one reason; the fact that they are incompatible with all Windows software…and as Windows based software dominates the popular market, it generates an uncomfortable sense of isolation and independence in the buyer, steering them back towards the herd. Who wants to wait a few days for an Apple program to arrive by mail when they just pick the same program up at Walmart that afternoon? Certainly not I. However, I have other priorities…such as maintaining my sanity.
Being forced by popularity to use Microsoft products on job sites, particularly Windows, makes me want to pull my hair out. The constant nagging, pop-upping, alerts, harassment, and overal "ordering around" that the computer puts me through drives me utterly insane. What kinds of sick massochists use these machines on a regular basis? The process of installing anything on a Windows computer is a time consuming nightmare, as we’re taken through advertisement ridden bullshit window after bullshit window in the installer wizard, manually adjusting every menial setting, procuring propper "clearence" from the computer, UNselecting a million invites to more garbage (would you like to put a shortcut on the desktop?/would you like to add this to your hot bar?/would you like to register to recieve product support?) The biggest difference I can find between the two operating systems is that Windows tells the user what to do, while Apple does what it is told by the user. Why people continue to put up with Microsoft is completely beyond me…perhaps they just know of nothing better.
Apple software is extremely elegant. Programs install themselves immediately, without the three ring circus of bullshit, and never require any "drivers" or "updates" to function. I have never encountered an important Windows program that wasn’t already programmed into Apple format as well, despite claims that Apple is utterly incompatible with everything.
"This folder contains files that Windows needs to run your computer. You have no need to look in this folder. Go away, now. Shoo."
-actual quote from WinXP
So now that Windows (a cheap half-ass rip off of the original Apple OS anyway) is where it belongs, operating in Apple’s background and thus destroying the one and only complaint concerning Apple Computers, I am curious to see how the company does in the market. Though I must confess, I would rather not see it do too well, simply because I enjoy their unpopular status. No excess garbage. No third party endorsements. No viruses (I am convinced that the Virus Protection Software People write and spread the viruses that they supposedly protect against).
"Blue screen of death? F*CK THAT SH*T! SYSTEM ERROR 11!!"
4:30 AM – 6 Comments – 4 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Hell Week
Well we’re approximately half way through what the resturant industry calls "Hell Week," that wonderful week of cellebration between christmas and new years…when all the full time college students come home to roost and get shit-faced drunk every night with family and old friends. I personally find this week appropri
ately named by the resturant industry, in all possible reguards. As an infrequent drinker I despise, with a vehement passion, all "get drunk" holidays…and as Hell Week is more or less the ultimate Hanukkah of the alcoholic religion, climaxing with New Years, the epitome of "get drunk and be stupid," I’m in an understandable state of discontentment. Thankfully, as of the morning of January the 1st, the three month hangover known as "the dead of winter" will set in, and I can finally get some piece and quiet. My bars will once again be filled with the low murmurings of weather bitching and sports commentary, rather than drunken flirting, cologne, lude comments, and profanity.
…and speaking of Hell, I’ve noticed an odd thing concerning Catholics, or rather people that were raised Catholic. I have never met someone who was raised as such that I did not like. Perhaps it’s a kindred spirit sort of thing, as I was raised that way myself, but there is something about the upbringing that sticks to a person reguardless of their present state of affairs; an etiquette, and sense of mannors, accompanied by an intrinsic fear of some great divine wrath hanging just above their heads. Catholics are taught how to punish themselves for their pleasures, and in turn learn a sort of equilibrium between things; a paradox of sorts…however, it has been said that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
3:11 AM – 4 Comments – 2 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Go piss up a rope…
I’ve grown rather tired of hearing the same outdated excuses for people’s prejeduce towards pop-country music, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring all of the freedom haters up to speed. Much has evolved in the pop-country world, and the old standby excuses like "I just don’t like the twang," and "all they ever sing about is losing their dog and truck," are no longer relevant, I’m sorry to say. Furthermore I don’t think I have -ever- heard a country song about losing a dog (Neil Young’s "King" aside). EVER.
So let’s get started, shall we? We’ll begin at the top, and break down each system as we go along. The most important factor, and all encompassing prerequisite of every pop-country song is, of course, that it be 100% right wing conservitive republican. That is rule number one. Any country artist who tries anything liberal is liable to simply dissapear. Remember the dixie chicks? Didn’t think so..
Now, under this dominant principal, there are several themes the pop-country song writer can use to manufacture a tune to be played by a promoted figurehead to make CMT some bling bling;
1) Pro-war, patriotism, following in daddy’s footsteps, etc.
2) Raising children.
3) I’m a crass uneducated aarogent slob, and I’m happy with that.
4) I’m broke, and that’s better than having money.
5) All I want to do is work and drink.
6) Sex between married couples.
7) Break-ups between boyfriends and girlfriends (not married couples).
Now, once you have your theme, it’s time to reach on over to the spice rack and jazz it up with one or more key pop-country flavor boosters. While some are generally part of the stock of the song, others can be sprinkled in like salt and pepper… for instance, the line "and I pray to God that" or "in the land of the free" can be inserted just about anywhere, anytime, and is guarenteed to make several more red state country fans dig the song. Something of a more savory flavor would be the "dual meaning" spice, in which the simple vaguely worded chorus can be applied with exactly two meanings (sometimes three) such as "there goes my life," or "she’s somebody’s hero."
Anything original, particularly witty, or beyond what I have just stated, is not a pop-country song, and should be filed under Americanna. The few pop country anomolies that seem to take root in an original thought have at least one of the aforementioned themes weaved into it somehow. So the next time someone asks you why you don’t like country, instead of blaming it on the "twang," try something a little more contemporary like "because it’s processed MTV garbage for simple people" or "the predictability of the recording industry’s marketing scheme make me want to blow my head off," or something of the sort.
1:08 AM – 3 Comments – 2 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
People who kill cops get props in prison, right?
So it’s the fourth night of winter parking, and I have two tickets… 25.00 dollars a piece, and the most expensive (and confusingly regulated) parking ticket on the market… so it’s all tied up now, 2 – 2. Ready for kick in the nuts number one? Both tickets were applied while I was (or so I thought) following the rediculous rules for downtown winter parking, which is to park on the odd numbered side of the street during odd days, and visa versa. This, of course, is reguardless of wheather or not there is, was, or ever will be, snow on the ground. I immediately called the police when I found the first ticket around 4 in the morning, told them exactly where I was, and asked that they come down and fix the problem.. they told me to take it to the city building between 9-5 and contest it, and that I would "probably" be able to get it revoked… the fact that 9-5 pm for most people is 9-5 am for me makes this extremely inconveniant. Assuming the officer was simply an idiot, I parked once again the following night on the opposing side of the street, in corrospondance with the law, and again found myself a nice 25 dollar ticket around four in the morning. Hence, kick in the nuts number two. Since I figured no officer could be that stupid, I decided that there must be some fine print somewhere that was screwing me out of my money, and looked at the official rules that I had otherwise heard only by word of mouth. There’s a quaint little clause at the bottom that says there is -no- parking permitted in the "central downtown buisness" district for three specific hours (rather than five, gee thanks folks!) ever. Kick in the nuts number three, the street that I got the tickets on ceases to become a part of the buisness district approximately 20 feet ahead of where I parked.
So they got me… bent me over with their fine print, and now I have to somehow go in there to contest it forgetting I ever read it in the first place (which is more difficult than it sounds). These tickets are one of the petoskey’s overqualified police forces biggest bullshit scams. Instated for snow removal purposes, I’ve gotten them in 60 degree weather when it hasn’t snowed for literally months, and the ground is completely clear. At least I have one good question on my side when they inform me (much to my feigned suprised) that the rules do not apply to the central shopping district.. "Why?" I really feel the need to tell a cop to go suck a pole right now…can youget arrested or otherwise in trouble for that? Or am I going to have to take my frustrations out on the poor clerk at the city building? Should I simply be honest with her? Is ignorance a just enough cause to get out of it? I highly doubt it…if there’s one thing I’ve learned in dealing with the police, it’s LIE LIE LIE…
In other news the old car broke down once again while randomly cruising through town, as my alternator belt slipped off (probably due to the snow onset) and fell out of my car. So I parked, donned the gloves, took a nice long walk through a snow field to find my belt, retrieved it, brought it back, pushed my car into an empty lot in the industrial section, popped the hood, got out the tools, and tapped into my inner Han Solo to get the machine up and running again. As this is a process I’ve grown rather accustomed to, it only took me maybe 15 minutes for the whole ordeal, and I was actually rather excited to do it once I diagnosed the situation. Must have been the inner male in me… while the inner female in me, at the moment, is rejoycing after venting all of this malarky for the mere sake of venting it. Now that I feel better I should just close this window, but I might as well post it for shits and giggles just the same… my mouse is also closer to that button than the X button, further justifying it…
5:47 AM – 7 Comments – 5 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove
Kristenopolis
I have an inner girl too. But I hate her. She makes me cry and is mean and ridicules me at inoppurtune times. I want the girl side that vents about fixing my own car, once in a while…that would make me feel manly. Snaps to the Mangina’s of the world, punches to the others!
Posted by Kristenopolis on Monday, December 04, 2006 at 8:42 AM
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and she…
I simply -must- thank you for the delightful entertainment…
Posted by and she… on Monday, December 04, 2006 at 10:44 AM
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Ari
HA HA HA!! oh this is great! and to think, i nearly moved there and GUESS who i would have gotten "parking advice" from? yes you. OR gary. mostly you i’d gather. if that were the case, we’d BOTH be sitting around with freakin tickets!
you are correct about the ignorance bit though: Is ignorance a just enough cause to get out of it? No. my ex is a lawyer. i was with him while he was "becoming" a lawyer at ucla school of law and one thing that always annoyed him was the part about ignorance not being an excuse for the law. it pertains to everyone. even non-residential (vistors) to the united states.
the assumption is you should understand the workings of the laws, all laws, regardless. even still, you should fight your tickets and do try to use "ignorance" as a clause. see, until YOU HEAR it with your own ears, "igornace is not a defense in the eyes of the court" then you are safe as cake brother!
see, thats fifty bucks gabriel. fifty bucks they just want to suck out of you like chump change for the state. you are paying cops to jack you around. HAH HA! so whats the worst that could happen if you fight it? you win? you dont have to pay the city Your hard earned cash.
lastly, as for your car… seems you’ve become a car wiiiiz. i should take my car up to you to see if you can work your magic on it too! 😉 bye
Posted by Ari on Monday, December 04, 2006 at 2:33 PM
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Nel
if you tell a cop to suck a pole make sure it’s metal and below freezing.
Posted by Nel on Monday, December 04, 2006 at 2:40 PM
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Kellyann
You must keep us updated as to weather you got out of the tickets or not. My man in me tries to fix things too. But the girl gets in the way with her freshly manicured nails and f^@k$ it all up. Lifes a weird balance, so sometimes you need to lie. Have fun this winter! 😛
Posted by Kellyann on Monday, December 11, 2006 at 9:52 PM
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Gary
testify!
seriously…i hope you took it all out on someone. preferabely that ass hole who runs thedowntown parking scam…just get all han solo’d up and shoot him under the table. seriously…youre getting fucked…and by this time you have probably gotten over it…with no chance of future "going postal’s."
yes…you do get mad props in prison for killing cops.
(think about it…)
-g
ps: i don’t claim to know what the fuck a kudo is…but you deserve some.
Posted by Gary on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 4:30 PM