How do I?

I guess it has been 2 weeks since he came home from Bahrain but he never made his presence felt. Maybe he is enjoying the company of his friends and family and have totally forgotten me.

It is painful to see his post on his facebook account, that is has been updating it and posting pictures of his escapades. While here, on my own, I wait for him to send me a message. I wonder, has he too given up on me? I may have told him that but deep in my heart, I still wait. I wait that he would apologize and beg that he be given another chance to prove himself to me and eventually promise me the world.

Has he ignored me or forgotten what we have been through all these years? Has he open heartedly reconciled with her? These are just few of the questions on my head after crying in silence. Did he ever valued my sacrifices and the rest that I have given up for him? Or did he suffered amnesia?

Actually, the truth of the matter is, should I still look forward to something? Do I now really move on with my life as he has already? Should I still wait…in vain? Or maybe, just maybe he has still plans for us without my knowledge..that one of these days he would just knock on my door and bring me the good and forever news?

Is it just right for me to go on loving him..silently? 5 years and 2 years of it together as husband and wife…what happened? Was it my fault when he himself never did anything or any steps?