Not Alone

WARNING: *I’m about to get very depressive and sad so if you don’t wana listen to it leave …I’m not usually like this i’m just dealing with some things.*

Still here? ok… I never know what to say or how to express myself. It is one of the things I hate most about myself! I am not comforting and helpful when people are upset.  

I found something very shocking to me and it has shaken me up a lot. I can’t tell anyone because i have been asked not to and its something serious.  

Something I wont tell anyone not even connor. I wish I could help somehow. I have decided to write it here so that I can get it out somehow.  

My best friend my sister cut herself.  

I was sitting next to her and i spotted her arm and I knew immediately what it was. I’ve been there before I have felt what she was feeling like its all to much but I don’t know how to tell her that or how to help her. 

<span class="

TextRun SCX29577914″ xml:lang=”EN-US” style=”margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;”>I cried myself to sleep over it because i know she is hurting and i can’t help I don’t know what to say I tried to tell her im here if she needs to talk  

I was so shocked when I realized what it was because she is the strongest person I know! I look up to her even though she is younger then me. she has one of the most beautiful smiles and always seems so tough and like she would never do something like that. I don’t understand why her. She refuses to tell her parents and get help for the depression she is having. 

I love her I consider her my little sister. I don’t know what to do. I know she will hate me if i say something so I really don’t want to but if she were to get worse and if she got seriously hurt i wouldn’t forgive myself. I’m getting choked up just thinking about it.She just gets upset if i try to say something and says she doesn’t wana talk about it. I just want to grab her and hug her and tell her its ok I understand but I don’t know how. I have never been good at showing affection or being comforting.  My parents were not affectionate so im awkward with that stuff. We r both pretending it didn’t happen but I don’t want to 

i want to talk to her about it i want to do something.  

I know we don’t always get along and we fight but I love her so much! I don’t want her to feel alone. She said she doesn’t want peoples pity but I’m not pitying her i only feel empathy because i get it i know what she is going threw i have been there and i didn’t have anyone to go threw it with me i was all alone and it sucked. I don’t like talking about it because I’m different now but I use to cut myself and I was contemplating suicide. Connor saved me he didn’t let me be alone and he built me up and made me feel whole and safe. I want her to feel that way to I don’t want her to sink.  

Anyway im just going to stop now…  I don’t know what to do sorry if I sound winy or depressive I just needed to get that off my chest. <span class="EOP SCX29577914" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-size: 11pt; line-

height: 19px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;”> 

I just hope I can help her somehow She is a beautiful person and important to me!