Stuff and Things

I found a journaling app for iOS that I’ve been using recently called Day One. I found it in the comments section on Reddit. So far I’ve been using it daily and have an 18-day streak going! It’s been nice to have something that’s only for me to re-read or not to if I don’t want to. It has the ability to hide entries which I like because I don’t really want to re-read anything I have written yet. I have all these places available to write and it’s a continual struggle to write honestly. Even here where I’m anonymous I hold back. In my Day One journal I don’t really hold back and it’s been very helpful to have that outlet.

Things with the Parental Unit are getting better. They accepted that I can no longer care for them alone and have agreed to let a service come in 2 days a week to help them out. This is pretty huge and I’m somewhat hopeful that this will relieve some of the stress I’ve been feeling. The service can help them with things like cleaning, cooking, going to the grocery store, taking the PU to the park and just generally being available on the 2 days they will be coming. My Older Sibling played a big role in making this happen. I sent them an email after I got the results of my bloodwork basically saying I couldn’t keep taking care of the PU by myself. I didn’t know what to expect since they are not close at all with the PU but they dropped what they were doing and came up to help out. I was able to disconnect from the PU for about a week and a half and focus on getting myself back on track. I met with my nutritionist again and have a solid plan to move forward and get my eating habits back on track. With the OS’s help, I got a ton of work done around my house, in the yard and I’m feeling somewhat hopeful and caught up. I’m nervous about how I will react when the PU has another issue with their health or has another meltdown and starts saying and doing things intentionally to hurt me. Unlike the OS I can’t turn off how I react to those types of things. I also think the OS has a skewed view of things since they’ve only had to deal with the PU on a limited basis after hospital stays and I’ve been dealing with them for over a decade now. Caregiver burnout is very real and I’m definitely in the midst of it. I’m trying to do things for myself more often which if history is any indication will be a trigger for the PU to start putting me down and throwing guilt trips at me. Hopefully, the service that is coming in will keep the PU distracted and engaged.

Anyway, things are somewhat better and I’m hopeful that I can continue to cope in a healthier way going forward.