Gone

About a month ago the Parental Unit just stopped doing everything. Stopped showering, forgot to take medication, forgot to eat, and just wasn’t getting out of bed at all. I had been coming over almost daily and then multiple times a day to get them up, showered, fed, and make sure medications were taken.

I’d been looking around at assisted living facilities for a few weeks before this and begged them to go to assisted living for a month or two to get back on track physically and mentally. They agreed. Less than a month later they died.

I feel responsible. Everyone has told me that the transition had already started and I did the right thing. But the PU blamed me and told me that I didn’t love them because I wouldn’t quit my job to look after them full time. I know that’s an unreasonable thing but they honestly believed that.

It’s been 10 years since they moved close to me. And 8 years since they stopped driving. I went from seeing them multiple times a day last month to picking up their ashes today. In a way I’m glad it was quick but now I constantly feel like I should be doing something for them or picking something up for them. Their apartment is being packed up as I type this and I had to leave because I couldn’t stand to see what’s left of their life put into boxes. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted.