Things

Yesterday it was cloudy, I fiddled with the filters of the camera of my phone but I just could not get the shot. I swipe again through the pictures today searching for it. The brick house with the balcony looking onto the garden from across a little brick road a channel reflecting the old oak trees on the other side. Today it was sunny. As I walked by again and looked up I saw white curtains behind open doors on the balcony softly whispering to the the wind with autumn leaves silhouetted against bright blue skies. I tried to take the shot again. I failed. I was not able to capture the moment.

I go there walking with one of my my dogs lately, for no particular reason. It is a beautiful autumn. I am not sure if everyone would agree with that I still just feel it is beautiful. Beautiful. But back to the house. House, I just want to come back to it. I had an opportunity to acquire it a long time ago, about 15 years or more. For reasons we did not. Considering all that had happened I think things turned out for the better. I wonder sometimes. I wonder what difference it would it have made. Would I have appreciated it to have something so beautiful? Looking back and knowing who I am now, I don’t know if I would have deserved something so beautiful? I wonder anyway. I am not unhappy, it is just things I wonder about, sometimes…