What Do I do with this feelings?

I’m confused, I Hate it here… Ever since He came into our lives everything has to change.. i know its the reality, but no matter how many times I’ve told myself to accept the fact that his my brother.  There are certain things need to change still bugs me… Honestly, I don’t even know anymore if I’m happy living here… It’s like I feel so distant to my parents already… The fact that I know they love us both, but There’s always this part of me knows deep down his more important just because he’s much more younger and innocent. He brings happiness and doesn’t think any problems in life… And here’s me a teenage girl being over dramatic for the fact deep down she’s hurting and expressing what she’s feeling right now through the internet… I love my brother really! But there’s just this part of me have this mixed feeling that bugs me… The hatred… Jealousy… Guilt… I don’t know anymore… I had enough as well this attitude and feelings of mine, sometimes i just want to lock myself inside my room. I don’t want to interact with anyone anymore… I feel numb.

The Girl who’s known to smile like a jewel is long gone.