Scream and Purge

Ever got the urge to just scream? 

   It’s crazy that I got that urge. I say “crazy’ because this week hasn’t been too bad for me. I know it’s only Wednesday, but I haven’t had these many good days in a row in…awhile…actually “awhile” doesn’t even cut it, neither does “forever”. Over exaggerating? Maybe. To me? Not one bit, that’s what it feels like to me. I’m not sure why this week has been going so good. I haven’t done anything different than I usually do. Wait…in that case, actually, I did 1 thing different. Today I left the house and went into town to run an errand. It only took maybe an hour and a half, if that. I usually go into town once a week that’s it, unless I need to go to the grocery store to grab some ingredients. So I usually leave the house 2 times a week or 3 times a week, more the former though. I just hope the remnant of the week will abide.

   Anyways, I got the urge to just scream earlier, of course, I didn’t scream. I’d rather the neighbors not think I’m getting bludgeoned to death by some heinous person. But I just felt like I wanted to purge all this negativity I have built up inside me. It’s very mind-boggling that people can hold so much inside of them. I like to think I’m holding my ground. If I wasn’t, then I’d be among the people that just snap because they can’t hold too much inside of them. Which, is very understanding when it happens. Maybe, I haven’t really “snapped” because, for the most part, I’ve had an outlet to express my emotions and let it flow like a river. My main outlet growing up was writing in a journal, and I continued to do that until a few months ago. I also have a therapist, and now I have “Open Diary” too.  I enjoyed having a journal and writing though, there was always so much write about and emotions to release. And by having so much to write, by gosh I always got major hand cramps! 😂 By far, typing and talking are less painful, physically that is.  It’s vital for me to have an outlet. When I used to hear people say that jotting down your feelings is very important, that it helps, and that it’ll make you feel better, I used to think “Seriously? How in the world will that help?” I just didn’t get it and couldn’t understand how. Once I finally started jotting everything down, that’s when I finally understood what they meant. It’s so therapeutic.  I can’t really say how or why it works but it does. Maybe the people that mentioned it to me didn’t know how to explain it either, It’s just a good feeling.

This right here…is my way of screaming and purging my emotions.

                             Goodnight,

                                 -Anonymously Honest💤