If Only Things Were Different….

I don’t trust myself I guess. I shouldn’t be putting myself through so much mental health hell. I’m trying though. Besides the past two days, I’ve been doing pretty good emotionally/mental health-wise.

I saw my therapist today and the session made some valid points. I’ve finally pinpointed the cause of what I’m going through mentally. It’s been staring me right in the face but I didn’t see it, and I think I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it. I was in denial. I was thinking to myself, where would I be if it weren’t for the circumstances that I’m in. That thought lead me to question everything.

In a way, I’ve just let go and gave up. I know I shouldn’t be putting up with half the stuff I do. I can’t picture myself getting out of the circumstances I’m in though. I just wish things were different, better. I want more than what I’m currently receiving. At one point I was receiving more, but at this point, I don’t think it’ll happen again no matter how badly I want it to. I feel like I’m wasting this life that I was given. I have to have been made for more than this, more than just waking up, sleeping, and wasting oxygen.  I want to be more. I want to feel worth more. No one should be made to feel that they just need to put up with something.

All I know is I wouldn’t wish my mental health or life for that matter, on anyone.

                                                                                                                             Till next time,

                                                                                                                               -Anonymously Honest (AH)