The girl living in a lie

I don’t know why i’m not over him, he was only ever suppose to be a friend and nothing more and that stupid kiss the night i saw you changed it all. I loved everything about you, our calls our endless smiles i try to make those moments last as much as i can in my head because maybe then ill be able to hold onto you a little longer. I dream of you every night and it always ends the same your like a shadow that disappears into darkness. I hate you with every inch of my body but in my heart i wish i was yours the girl you think about in geometry, or when your at practice i questioned my self worth because of you i sat in my room and cried until i had no tears left wondering why you’d do such a thing.. you waited until i poured my entire heart out to tell me you just wanted to be friends then tried to say your mom told you it would be best which is a bunch of bullshit in my opinion and all you can say is ” i’m sorry” or ” i didn’t mean to ” it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t your intention because you still did it you made so many empty promises that if someone genuine and good came along i wouldn’t know it because ill i ever received was a piece of shit.