I hate this site..

Shit takes forever to load and then doesn’t even load correctly.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest.

I was just going to name this entry Stardust.

Stardust is the name of the place I’ve lived for the past 2+ years ever since moving to Dallas. It’s more of a community than an apartment building. It really is one of a kind. Imagine a really fancy hotel with a nice pool in the middle and plenty places in the courtyard to hangout. Imagine that people checked in and out of that hotel. Imagine that no matter who came or went, everyone mostly got along and looked out for each other despite their differences. That’s pretty much what it’s like. It’s a great place to live.

I’ve been kinda bummed out about it though lately. It’s hitting me real hard today especially. My best friend out here, Will, told me today than him and his girlfriend found a new place to move. This will be their first apartment together. They’ve been together about 6 mos. now. I wish them luck. So, Will, my neighbor and best friend since I’ve lived here is moving out in a few weeks. On top of that my upstairs neighbor who is super cool will be moving in about a month as well. Him and I have had this agreement that we don’t care what each other does. In other words he can party at 3 in the morning up there and I can blare my heavy metal down here whenever I want. And no matter what, we’re not gonna bitch about it.

Not only that, but pretty much every friend I’ve made here has moved out. There was Jeff. He’s gone to Seattle. Chris was my next door neighbor. He was super cool. He moved as well. Mikey is outta here. I still keep in touch with him though. Kevin moved out recently. We hang out regularly though. He actually admitted today that he shouldn’t have moved out. i thought that was funny. Elizabeth has went nuts and none of us talk to her anymore.

Writing always helps. It’s like when you say something out load. Sometimes that light bulb goes off in your head and you realize something about what you’re saying that you didn’t otherwise. I’m realizing writing this that even though all those people have moved on, I still have some friends here and more importantly, I’ve made plenty of good friends here that I still keep in touch with – friends that I otherwise wouldn’t have met had I never lived here.

I’m getting better at guitar. After about 3 years of playing, I’m finally starting to feel comfortable with it. I’ve been picking out Stairway to Heaven. As cliche as that song is, it’s amazing to me that I can actually sit down and play some of it. I’ve pretty much got it all down but the solo which I’ll work on soon. I’m just cleaning up the other parts now. I’ve been learning some Pink Floyd. I can even do some of David Gilmour’s little solos in the songs. Mostly my humility tries not to make a big deal of it, but I am getting confident in my playing at least. It’s a good feeling.

I’ve entered into a debt management program. I hope that this is going to turn out to be a good idea. I don’t have a ton of debt. Only about $5000 spread over 4 different payment accounts. I’m paying about $300 a month to pay it all off in less than 2 years, which is pretty good considering that without these structured payments I’d be paying this stuff off way longer than that. I’ve also started paying my student loans off. That’s costing me $260 a month. I’m hoping to get that reduced. Long story short, I’ve started to work on getting my finances in order, but that means less money for me per month in the short term. I’ll have my car paid off in 5 months. That’ll be nice.

I really really want a golden retriever. I’ve wanted my own golden for years, but never felt fully ready til recently. If I had the money, I’d go get the dog tomorrow, but all in all, the initial cost of the dog is probably gonna be about $1500.

What sucks is I could be taking my tax return that I’ll be getting and get the dog, but I’m gonna need to put that money towards getting my car fixed. We had a pretty bad hail storm out here last year and since then I’ve been driving around with a pretty beat up car. Kinda embarassing, but I try not to let it get to me.

I gave a date this Thursday. A "date" – with this beautiful redhead that I met on OkCupid. I really hate online dating. Just the idea of it. The forced connections. I disabled my account on there for now. I know I shouldn’t worry about it, but it does bother me that I drive a beat up car. Even I would be apprehensive about dating a girl with a beat up car. I guess the good thing is that I have a plan to get it fixed, so it’s not the end of the world.

All in all, I guess things are good now. They could be better, but I can’t complain. I’ve got a good job. I’ve got enough money coming in to pay my bills with enough to spare for comfort and hobbies. I bought $150 ticket to a metal fest in Atlanta out of this check and out of this next check I’ll be buying a flight to ATL so I can visit my friend in about a month.

The Tylenol PM that I took is starting to hit. I should probably hit the hay. It was good to get some of this stuff out.

I know that the answer is to just keep my head up and remain positive. God, there’s so much more I could say. I still think about this girl that I met at the beginning of summer. She was beautiful and we were totally hitting it off, but I was a drunk asshole and I soon as I saw she was missing some fingers. Yes, she had a few fingers that were deformed or missing on one of her hands, I just took a step back. She was beautiful, though. Totally unique and sweet. I told my friend Will about how I didn’t get her number because I was a drunk asshole. He said that the finger thing would have made her more interesting to him. I wish I would’ve thought like that at the time. I get it.I just always think about that girl because I think we could’ve hit it off and then maybe I wouldn’t be single now, but such is life.

Alright, it’s already Monday. Gotta be up for work in a few hours. Gotta kick ass tomorrow.

If you believe in nothing else
<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: rgb(204, 204, 221

); display: inline !important; float: none;”>Just keep believing in yourself
There will be times of trouble, 
it’s gonna hurt like hell
This much I know, all ends well
It all ends well.