2014

Here it goes. The obligatory 2014 journal entry.

My goal for this year is pretty lame, but it’s necessary:

To pay off bills. I won’t be able to pay off everything by 2015. but I should come very close. I’m in a dedt management plan now. That basically means I’m sending a ton of money to my credit cards every month and this debt management company has (in some cases) negotiated lower interest rates for me. I don’t have a shit ton of dept. $5,000 spread across a few different things, but it had become a pain in the ass to pay on every month and I realized that the only way I’m truly going to be free is to free myself of these debts. At the latest, I should have them all paid off by the time I’d get next year’s tax return. That tax return should be about $1500 and if I put that towards what I’ve already paid down, by the time I get that tax return, I should be good to go. In additon, my car will be paid off in less than 2 months. That’s going to take a huge load off my shoulders. I’ve got some other things to take care of first, but eventually what I hope to do is send the money I was sending to my car payment to my creditors. If I can manage to even send part of that money to the credit cards every month on top of what I’m already sending through the debt plan, I’ll be golden.

That’s really my main goal for 2014. Past that, I just want to keep having a good time here in Dallas. Once I pay down the debts, that’s when I’ll revisit my life and see if I want to make a move again. I’ve though about moving to NYC or going back to New Orleans. Or I could stay here. I was stressing about it for awhile until I realized I won’t be ready to move for another year anyway, so I mine as well just hold off making a decision til I’m ready. Besides, who knows what life will throw at me. I could move before then or I could decide to stay here. I could be married with a kid within a year. Doubtful… but point is, you never know. Life is crazy like that, but it’s still nice to have some roadmap in my head of what my next plan will be.

Other than that, I took acid the other night (that came out of left field, didn’t it?)

This was only my second acid trip. I had tripped on shrooms a number of times. The first time i did acid, it was pretty intense. I didn’t have a bad trip, but I definitely wasn’t ready for the intensity. I took it spur of the moment on night. But this go round, I was ready for intense again, but it was a mild trip. Halfway through it, I actually just wanted to be sober again becaue all though I had thought a lot about my life and the people in it, more than anything, I just kept thinking how awesome life is. It really is. And I don’t mean it from a realist point of view. That night I thought about a lot – good and bad. But through it all, I just kept thinking – I can’t wait to be sober again to get out there and tackle life with all its complexities. It’s a great thing. Even problems are great in a sense. The fact that we can and fo experience a whole array of emotions and problems that we have to work through. It’s all life. And life takes us to come crazy places. Some good places and some bad places. That night I also remember thinking a lot about going sober and getting away from alcohol. I know that’s a crazy thing to think about on an acid trip – hey maybe I should stop drinking?

And I know one day I will. There will come a time for that. I don’t enjoy the cost of drinking. It’s had some negative effects on my life, but to be perfectly honestly, after giving it a lot of thought, I’m just not ready to give up on the social aspect of drinking. There are other things I enjoy. I love music. I love wrestling (we’ll get to that in a bit). But sometimes, it’s just good to meet friends at a bar or go to the bar alone and have a good thing or go to the bar and meet people. Sometimes it’s good to sit out with the neighbors and drink and goof off. One day I’d like to focus on other things. I know one day I could enjoy a healthy lifestyle. i could enjoy going to the gym. I actually do enjoy those things. But when I start going to the gym, I go all in and I get into the bodybuilding part of it. But you can’t do both. You can’t drink, party, and bodybuild. You just can’t. So for now, I’ll save that for later in life.

And lastly, I’m am extremely happy to be able to say that I’m into wrestling full on again. It was my childhood pasttime and although I never fully stopped fully it, I always lamented that it wasn’t one of my main hobbies. But ever since we got tickets to Wrestlemania 30, I started watching some of it here and there and for reasons I won’t go into now, cause I’m starving and need to find food. I’m hooked again. I love it.