Squeeze the nickel ’til the buffalo craps ***

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And they suck it even harder when one is either a “retiree” or on “permanent, long-term disability,” whichever one works best for them in order for them to totally fuck with people who slaved away for them for years and now are unable to continue.

As you can tell, I’ve still not been able to get my health, etc., insurances re-instated after once again being dropped for no reason. I spent a long time on the phone one day a couple of weeks ago after beating up on myself (literally punched myself in the face a few times) just so I could dial the phone. (Yes, yes, I know… telephone anxiety is stupid. Stupid or not, it exists. Get off my ass.) Anyway, with a slight black eye I was finally able to complete the call, was on hold for a bit, then answered, transferred, on hold, answered, transferred… four times!… and then, at the last transfer, the call was dropped/disconnected by my “benefits” department. You probably could hear my scream from where you were at the time!

So, a few days later I had to repeat the whole preparation ritual, although I didn’t beat myself up this time… I just pulled out some of my eyebrow until I was able to complete the call. This time I was on hold for just a few seconds because I called very, very early in the morning, my time, right when their phone lines opened. Of course, no reason or anything was seen as to why I was dropped. “It’s a mystery to me,” said the rep with whom I was speaking. So she created an incident report with a ticket number, which was given to me in case I needed to call back before I heard something “within a couple of days.” That was days and days ago and I’ve yet to hear anything. And I’m having more of a difficult time trying to call now because the previous problems have increased my anxiety level to such a high mark that I’m really afraid of what I might do if things don’t go well with the phone call I need to make.

I have no choice, though. I simply must call first thing Monday morning, before my early appointments, in order to get it fixed once and for all. Since the last call I’ve obtained copies of the premium checks sent and cleared; and I have the e-mails stating that my benefits premiums have been received and applied to my account. AND, I have a check that they sent to me as “benefit payment refund,” which they should never have sent me in the first place. (When this happened before they came up with the “solution” that I was dropped because of non-payment for a certain month… the very month that they had refunded back to me!) Now I’m getting large bills for things that various places have tried to bill to my secondary (the Medicare supplement from the bank) and are being rejected because “client is not covered” or “not in our system.” Bastards!

I swear, I think BofA is hoping that, one of these times, I’ll just roll over and give up, allowing my insurances to lapse and be done with it. That is SO not going to happen. One would think they would know that after doing this to me almost every year since I was placed on disability… way back in 1994!!!!! Fuckers. I just hope I can get the call made Monday without too much drama to myself. I’ve learned some new skills in the IOP classes I’m taking that I’m going to try to implement. Wish me luck!

In other “happy” news, I took it hard in the ass without the benefit of lube on Monday when I finally was able to get with my worthless case manager, Todd. He said the entire appointment would take probably two to three hours because of the regular paperwork we needed to complete as well as getting the situation with the phone bill straigthened out. Of course, he wants to jump on it, finally, when he’s going to be gone for three weeks, having the same surgery that I had on my shoulder. The woman who will be covering for him is actually the one with whom I completed the annual paperwork. I knew what was coming when I would finally talk with Todd: they were going to cancel their agreement with me that states that they will pay my electric bill so that I can afford Weight Watchers and other things I would have to pay out-of-pocket for in the future. Granted, that hasn’t come up a lot (the other things, I mean); but I’ve been able to pay off all of my little, annoying debts and once I’m done with the IOP program I was going to get into the acupuncture college as a specimen or whatever on which the students could learn. Even with it being a school and stuff, I would still have to pay $15 out of pocket per visit, and it’s been recommended that I go twice per week. That’s $120 per month right there. Add to it the $40/mo. for Weight Watchers and it’s a huge chunk of change out of my budget. But if the clinic were to continue paying the electric bill I could have done it, at least most of the time.

But nope… they are no longer going to honor the agreement (I looked at the signed form from a couple of years ago and it does indicate that the agreement can be terminated with notice by either party. Well, I didn’t get notice other than a huge electric bill with basically a “you’re a worthless piece of shit” message.)

I insisted that the clinic bring current the account since the agreement wasn’t officially terminated until that meeting we were in and I knew nothing of their intent to stop payment, thus putting me in arrears with the electric company and in danger of being cut off. I also made Todd finally complete his part of the form I needed to mail in (and that I’ll have to bug him quarterly to re-up and complete his part again) to ensure that my electricity isn’t cut off no matter the bill. My doc filled out her part, I did mine… and then I had to wait and wait for Todd to do his. That form is supposed to have been mailed in, but guess who has to send it: yep… the case manager. I hope beyond hope that he had the woman who’s in his office do it. God knows I can’t count on him to do anything, ever. I did my part, as much as I could, by getting an extension until March 15th for the balance to be paid in full. As of this morning, early, no payment has been made at all. And I’ve also not received anything indicating whether or not my non-cut-off request has been accepted. AND, I can’t make it any easier on myself by changing to “budget billing,” meaning they’ll take the previous year’s usage, average it out by twelve months, and charge me the same every month so I have a better handle on keeping it paid in full because I can budget it. Why can’t I get it switched to budget billing? Because the account has to be current and in good standing before budget billing can be set up!

Is it any wonder that now, when a lot of my life is looking up for the first time in ages, when it comes to these two issues I’m becoming more and more depressed and upset when I wake up because I’m not-so-secretly hoping to kick off in my sleep?

Oh, and just one more thing, quickly: the water bill. I got it all set up and paid the $100 deposit. Then I found out that I don’t qualify for low-income rates because they take the gross amount from my SSDI, not the net (gross amount is before the expensive Medicare premiums are

taken out). By taking the gross amount my income went over their guideline by less than $200 for the entire year!!!! So I will have to try to figure out how to pay full-rate.

I know I really shouldn’t be bitching about all of this. But if I don’t I’m going to either cry myself into dessication or just take a header off of the fucking balcony. I hate to say it, but the negative stuff going on is far, far out-weighing the positive… and there’s a lot of positive. It’s just that this negative stuff, which is going to have to be figured into my already-strapped budget, means I’ll be living much, much poorer than I have been so far. I’m so, so fucked.