unfinished…

Something about Ave Maria being sung by an Opera singer moves me.

I’m wearing only a flannel shirt. On the way to find my blue pants that I use as pajamas, I became distracted. When I get sufficiently cold I’ll find my pants.

Until then. I’m here.

What is the meaning of life? Have you ever wondered that? Everything is a constant rush.

“Oh my goodness, it’s almost Christmas, hurry and do your shopping.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s almost the end of the semester, hurry up and push more material at the kids.”

“Oh my goodness, I want to get all my work done now for the week after Christmas so I’ll have time to relax over break.”

Why?

The truth is that my shopping will get done regardless if I do it now or later, the semster will end and pushing material at the kids won’t help them learn any better and why do I have to get the work for school done now? Why can’t I do it later?

Because I’m always pushing, rushing, trying to get more and more. Even now. I look to the future. Where do I want to be next year? What do I want out of life? Where am I going to be tomorrow? What are my plans for this weekend.

I get tired of it.

I don’t want to care about any of that.

I want to float along.

In a sense, that’s what college was for me. I lived at home so I had my mom and dad. I could do that party thing and still come home at the end of the day.

Tomorrow was seen as a degree I would get at the end of four years. Even then though, I did push through. Always wanting to reach the end.

And now. It still happens.