Swedish Chefs lack Confidence

Alex left for a couple of hours today to see her grandparents and I really missed her. I couldn’t get enough hugs when she got back. At times, her incessent need for attention drives me crazy. Other times, I miss her so much. I wonder, how will I deal when she is a teenager with "better things to do" than be with mom? I don’t want to reach that point. Not yet. Dealing with teenagers though, maybe I’ll be glad she’ll want her own life.

Where does my lack of self-confidence come from. That’s not really it though. I feel like I need to live on my own terms. I think that’s why I always have a few pounds to loose. I use food as a crutch. If someone says something to me (even if they are in the wrong) I feel it is my fault. And I can’t write much now. But things such as not being asked to present at an inservice when others are. Or something bigger I don’t have time to delve into today, but will make me seem like a horrible person. Maybe tomorrow.

It feels good to write again.

Alex is in love with a Youtube video. Type in "The Muppets–Popcorn." The Swedish chef is awesome. 🙂