an embrace…

A blank screen. Whiteness superimposed on blue. And where to start. I haven’t had a “real” entry since December. Don’t ask me why. I question it myself. The willingness to write is here. Just not the motivation perhaps.

Life for me has fallen into a predictable pattern. Wake up. Go to school. Work. Come home. Sleep. And again and again and again. Perhaps winter makes it feel this way at times. The endless snow. The pursuit of feeling bare ground beneath my feet.

Or perhaps it’s something more. I haven’t felt like myself recently.

It doesn’t take much for me to become depressed. In fact, it comes upon me usually once during the winter. I feel like crying. I have cried myself to sleep the past two nights. I don’t think Rich even noticed. I’m quite quiet about it.

Yesterday for example. I thought to myself…all I need to do is cry and if I can do that then I’ll fall asleep before the tears dry on my cheeks.

At times I grow to hate this simple life.

At times I embrace it.