wedding bitch fest

 ok, i’ve held off for a while, but it’s time to let loose on some wedding stress.

first, money.  it’s a lot.  a lot.  and i don’t have as much as she does, and that makes me feel small a lot of the time. been dealing with this for over a year now.  it sucks a little less than it used to.  this is, honestly, the least of my issues right now.

second, fucking groomsman, particularly, best man.  i’m trying to get a sense of when people are going to be around so i know who i can count on to help with what.  i ask my BEST MAN when he’s going to be in town, and he responds by telling me that he’s probably going to spend some time while he’s in town hanging with his wife’s family in a town 40 minutes away.  i ask for specifics, he won’t give them.  i ask when i can ‘count on’ him being there, he doesn’t give an answer.  somehow this conversation morphs into him guilt tripping me about the money he and his wife (carolyn’s matron of honor) are spending to come out here for the wedding, and asking me (the guy who, with his wife and family are spending twenty fucking five fucking thousand fucking dollars to throw them a party) to pay for his hotel room.  Ya know, the one he’d stay at while going to spend time with his in-laws when I was hoping to have his help.

Then, today, carolyn gets an email from him wife (i haven’t gotten anything) that says HIS family has now decided that they’re going to come into town that weekend and want to hang out with them too.

so what was  (and in my opinion, *should be*) a weekend about supporting the couple and helping with whatever they need, has become this big family fucking reunion, where we’re… 2nd? 3rd? 4th? (cause ya gotta get in a workout, too) priority.  if it weren’t 6 and a half weeks from the wedding, i’d have half a mind to just find a new best man.  i’ve got friends who are fucking USHERS who are more committed to being supportive on that day.  i’ve got friends FLYING IN FROM LONDON to come see this thing, and the best man can’t say "yes, this weekend, whatever you need me to do, i’m there".

i know it’s a lot to ask, but if you’re not willing to commit to being a bestm an, don’t say yes when i ask.  would have saved everyone a lot of pain and sadness.  

third, all the ‘nos’ are coming in.  and they’re mostly my people.  i had a very small group to begin with, and a lot of my people are saying no.  this wedding’s probably about 30% my folks, max.  bums me out in a fairly large way.

fourth, i had a really rough week at work, fucked up a deadline on a project, had clients mad at me.  first time in my life i was legitimately worried about my job security.  in reaction to that, i’ve started working really really really hard, which leads me to be way more tired at the end of the day, useless(er) at home, not as much energy to be a good partner at home, blah blah blah.

fifth, my mom had me get the last of my stuff out of her place this weekend.  very nostalgic/sad times.

this has all led to me slacking on my eating well and exercise goals, and ending up with poopy results.

gah.

that’s all i have for now.  just needed to vent it all in one place, thanks for listening.  i’ll be done bitching in like 47 days.