To the doubters

warning: this entry is likely to contain alot of naughty language, so if you’re easily offended, there’s the back button.

Dear anyone who’s ever doubted me in my life,

Go fuck yourself. Came across some information today that certain people have been whispering behind my back a bit, worried that I can’t ‘make it’ or that I’m not going to bounce back.  So it’s become my mission now to prove you wrong.  That sort of bullshit is the exact kind of thing that bugs me the most.  Everybody has their journey through life, but I do not want your pity.  Save it for someone who needs it.  I’m a grown ass fucking adult man, supporting my family, working almost 50 hours a week between two jobs, paying back student loans out my ass, just paid off a car, I’ve got two fucking master’s degrees.  I don’t need your fucking pity.  Shove it up your ass.  Seriously.  If I were going to give up, if it were going to end for me, it would have happened long ago over things much more serious than anything that’s happened to me in the past year and a half.  

I don’t keep fighting for anyone but myself.  Does life suck right now?  Fuck yes it does.  But it’s not the end.  I could snap, boom, ignore it and move on right now, but that’s not how you grow as a person, it’s not how I got to be where I am, got to be the person I am.  I got to be who I am because I fucking face every piece of shit that’s thrown at me.  I do not back down.  I’m not afraid of a fight.  I’m not afraid to look the devil in the fucking face, unblinking.

You are not going to break me.  You are not going to end me.  Nobody is going to put me in a place I can’t come back from. 

Every time anyone suggests otherwise, it’s a slap in the face, and it’s a slap in the face I won’t forget.  Down the line, I might forgive, but I will not forget.  Know that.

I don’t want people who don’t believe in me.  If you’re going to doubt me, take a fucking walk.  I’m done trying to prove myself to those who aren’t going to believe in me.  I’ve got enough people who aren’t treating me like some big-brothers-big-sisters project to waste my time with the ones who are.  

I’ve got so much anger in me right now, and I don’t have any idea how to get it out.  I wanna punch something.  Last time that happened, I broke my hand.  Let’s not go down that road again, eh?  

So from here on out, my mission: to shut you the fuck up.  To prove wrong anyone who ever had an INCH of doubt that I am one of the most powerful, steady, proactive and worthy people you’ll ever meet.

Sincerely,
Brian.

P.S. I am the master of my fate.  I am the captain of my soul.  The ink is going on my body before the month is out.