this SUCKS

 yeah.  this is a bitchy entry, if you don’t like it, back button’s up there.

got the PICC line put in on friday.

i realize i didn’t quite xplain it well enough.  it’s a tube that goes into my arm, just above my elbow.  that tube loops around, inside my vein, until the other end of it sits right above my heart.  it’s sewn into my arm , with a little dongle thing poking out the end just below my elbow.

every day, i have to inject a syringe of saline, hook up a little canister of IV antibiotics, sit there for an hour as the antibiotics slurp up in there, then another syringe of saline, and close it back up.

every.  fucking. day.  for 8 weeks.

yesterday, i got the dressing changed and nearly passed out.

the antibiotics they’ve got me on destory my stomach.  i’ve had cramps, rumbling, and pain in my stomach since about 1 this afternoon.  eating doesn’t help, probiotics don’t help, water doesn’t help, standing up doesn’t help, laying down doesn’t help.  

it all wears me out.  about 45 minutes after i finish an infusion, i can’t fucking keep my eyes open, i’m useless for the rest of the day.  i hate being this broken.

oh, and all this shit makes me cranky, noticed?

can someone please fast forward two months from now, please?

to top it off, some friends are being questionable toward me lately, precisely the point where i need them.  you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.