need to write more

 I need to write more, i’m going to try and write *something*, whether it’s here or elsewhere, public or private, each day.  it seems like lately i’ve been avoiding thinking about a day’s events until a few days later, when it’s my brain trying to decipher 3 or 4 days, and lately, that’s not really working…

so here’s the cliff’s notes on lately, and i’ll try and keep up more regularly…

weight loss is going well.  when i stick to it, my body responds.  unfortunately, there have been a few things (weddings, bachelor parties) that have ‘required’ (yes, i know, excuses, but tradeoff i’m comfortable with) excessive drinking and eating, so not really diet-friendly.  so been floating 3 or 4 pounds back and forth from those events, but generally in the -6-10 pound range so far.  

wedding planning is going alright.  got the full set of engagement photos back, some more fun options, and we’re really happy with our photographer, excited to have him shoot the wedding.  save the dates will be printed in the next few weeks and then we’ll get to work on mailing them out.

guest list is getting to be a pretty big pain in the ass.  her family is huge, and her parents don’t seem to quite understand that just because our room can *hold* 240 people (cramped and uncomfortably), doesn’t mean that we NEED 240 people.  between alcohol and food, it’s probably about 40 bucks a person, so if we can keep the guest list down to 200, that’s 1600 bucks less we’re pumping into this thing.  especially when those extra 40 people are people we don’t really interact with or see as a big part of our lives (parents neighbors? no way). grr.

currently in denial about one of the most important people in my life moving away.  known her for 10 years, she’s single-handedly responsible for bringing my out of my social shell.  wouldn’t have met carolyn without her, wouldn’t have… really done much of anything without her help.  and she leaves on sunday, not likely to see her again until april.  tres bummed about that. hoping to avoid starting shit with people and causing drama this time around.

stuff with that friend basically resolved, but i’m pretty sure we’ll never be ‘close’ anymore.  he’s still a groomsman, but definitely pretty low on the list, and not someone i’d go to for any sort of real support anymore.  cest la vie. 

got myself in a bit of a tizzy reading an ex’s old blog entries (hey jeannie, yes, i know you still read this.  why, exactly?).  she had written some stuff, all very positive and lovey dovey and shit, approximately a week and a half before she dumped me.  got me a little worked up like "whoa, so… if her mind can change that quickly…." and then it spiraled into some seriously dumb shit.  didn’t have any ativan on me, so ended up just jumping headfirst into work, which actually turned out well, as i was a little behind on a few projects, and got closer to caught up.  while we’re on the topic, yes, jess, i know you still read this too, and don’t really have an issue with that.  you and i are cool.

4 days and 15 hours until hawkeye football.  headed to chicago for the first game.  got a sick new hawkeye t-shirt to wear, since we have to wear gold.  got a good tailgating crew to chill with, good seats for the game, really excited.

went golfing for the first time in several years this past friday, for some pre-wedding stuff for a buddy who was getting married.  i was absolutely awful, but it was still fun.  at one point, though, my golf bag fell out of the cart, and my phone hit the concrete.  screen cracked.  means i can’t sell it next month when the iphone 5 comes out, and probably can’t afford to buy the iphone 5 now.  really really irked.

but, to close on a positive note, what am i thankful for?

the fact that i have people in my life like joanna, who despite some, at times, pissant attitudes, have dragged me, kicking and screaming, into the light, because they know i’ll thank them for it later.  

also happy to meet some new people.  at my buddy’s wedding, got to talk with some people who i’d met sort of peripherally, and really got to know them much better, and gained a few really good friends over the course of the weekend.  

that’s about all i’ve got for tonight, i think.  beddy bye.

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