how do you resolve this?

when you’ve got two people that aren’t on good terms with one another, and you’re good friends with both of them, and want both of them to get to happy places, and want both of them to be civil and cool with one another…

how do you be supportive and healthy to both without feeling this massive guilt trip, like you’re ‘betraying’ the other one?  i’m really afraid one day one or both of them are going to jump up and say "YOU’VE CHOSEN THE ENEMY OVER ME, WE’RE OVER", when in reality, i’m just really trying to make as many people happy as possible.

i dont trust that people say what they’re really feeling, i feel like they’ve always got to be harboring some sort of festering anger about the whole situation, and that scares me.  i really dont wanna lose either of these people in my world, but i’m really really really convinced that someone’s going to get possessive of my friendship and i’m going to have to choose.  i know exactly who i’d choose, not a doubt in my mind, but then that leaves someone with hurt feelings and a bruised ego, who severely doesn’t need that right now.

how the fuck do my abandonment issues kick in when i’d be the one doing the abandoning?

it’s just like the episode, the one with the kips.  or the one with the yeti.

i watched those last night, and they freaked me out, bad.

sigh.
The people I met and the places I’ve been
All will make me the man I so proudly am
But I wanna know one thing
When did I become a ghost?
I’m mostly confused about the world I live in
They think that I’m lonely, well I probably am
One thing that still gets me
When did I become a ghost?